1. Scarlett Johansson is single again
In news sure to delight delusional men: Scarlett Johansson has split with New York ad executive Nate Naylor, reports People Magazine. Johansson's rep hasn't commented, but a source who knows both parties confirmed the breakup, adding, "He's pretty upset," which is actually better than you'd expect for someone who's not dating Scarlett Johansson anymore. 

2. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson allegedly back together, for the seventh or eighth time this month
Just months after their alleged breakup discombobulated tweens everywhere, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are allegedly back on. The actors were spotted after an early-morning meal with friends in Los Angeles, where they "even cozied up to each other," reports Entertainment Tonight. For a muddy, unrevealing, but "exclusive" video of the couple saying goodbye to their pals outside the eatery, click here.

3. Honey Boo Boo endorses Obama
President Obama's reelection campaign got an unexpected bump on Monday night when he landed the coveted Honey Boo Boo endorsement, reports the New York Daily News. The 7-year-old reality star told Jimmy Kimmel she was backing Obama after Mitt Romney admitted that he prefers Jersey Shore's Snooki over her. Asked if Romney could do anything to earn her support, Honey Boo Boo evasively replied, "I dunno."

4. Bubba the Love Sponge says Hulk Hogan leaked his own sex tape
In a story that's rapidly turning into the modern-day Rashomon, Bubba the Love Sponge now alleges that Hulk Hogan played a role in the release of his own sex tape, says E! Online — brainwashing Bubba into "giving his blessing for his then-wife Heather to have sex with the wrestler." Hogan is currently seeking $100 million in damages against Bubba and Gawker, which posted an excerpt from the tape.

5. Jennifer Aniston gets teary-eyed over engagement
Your palate cleanser: Jennifer Aniston, whom publications including Entertainment Weekly seem duty-bound to refer to as "America's sweetheart," is so happy about her engagement to Justin Theroux that she burst into tears on Monday's episode of Chelsea Lately. "I just got verklempt," said Aniston, unintentionally reminding everyone that Mike "Coffee Talk" Myers is still alive and well.