Oprah's last show: Will planet Earth survive?

When Oprah Winfrey launched her namesake OWN network last year, she reassured fans of her syndicated talk show that she'd continue taping the talk show until September, 2011. Change of plan: The queen of sympathy has moved up the finale of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" to May 25, possibly because OWN's ratings struggle requires her full attention. Oprah's announcement quickly inspired bloggers to start imagining exactly how the last show might transpire. Here's a sampling of remarks:

I'm all farklempt!

"Start stockpiling the tissues now," says Amanda Schurr at Just Out. "You get a box of Kleenex! And YOU get a box of Kleenex! And YOU get a box of Kleenex!"

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What's in it for me?

"We're expecting her to give away small islands to each and every member of the studio audience in attendance," says Willa Paskin at New York.

Paging Tom Cruise...

"Details on which celebrity might be jumping up and down on her couch for the last time... have not been released," says Rachel Lee Harris at The New York Times

Or someone even more powerful

"As of now, no word on who her final guest will be," says Perez Hilton, "but we're thinking at this point that it's probably going to be Jesus! Seriously, if anyone can pull it off and get him, it's her!"

Forget the guests

"Honestly, we don’t want to see any guests on Oprah’s final show," says Meagan Morris at She Knows. Montages and memories of years past would be much more appropriate. Although, perhaps "Oprah can give everyone a car too? You know, for old time's sake."