Colin Farrell is sober but isn’t all that happy about it, says Tim Lewis in British GQ. “I’d love to be able to drink,” he says. “I would love to have a couple of nights howling at the moon. I’d love to get f---ed up.” But he knows he can’t. Farrell, now 32, was 13 when he began raiding his parents’ liquor cabinet. Soon he was closing down pubs and doing every drug he could get his hands on. He first sought treatment at 19, and he’s been seeking it ever since. “I just couldn’t stop. Just literally couldn’t. In certain rehabilitation environments they talk about crossing a line, and, sure as s---, I crossed the line and couldn’t get back on my own.” Not until he was 29 and actually wrote down how much drugs and alcohol he’d consumed throughout his life did he realize the depth of his problem. “When I read the list, I nearly started weeping like a baby. All of a sudden it became so sad that I or any person would have put so much s--- in their body to try and feel human or have a good time.” Farrell has been clean two years, but he knows a relapse is never far away. “I’m still powerless today. If I started drinking now, who knows? It would probably start slowly, but I’d be f---ed fairly quickly.”