1. Robert Downey Jr. drops hints about leaving the Iron Man franchise
It might be hard to picture an Iron Man movie without Robert Downey Jr.'s wry, puckish quips, but Iron Man lovers may want to start preparing themselves for the end: In a recent interview with GQ, the actor hinted that he has begun to contemplate hanging up his metal suit for good. "How many genre movies can I do? How many follow-ups to a successful follow-up are actually fun?" said Downey Jr. — a question worth asking, since not even Iron Man 2 was all that fun. Fans despondent over the idea of a world without more Iron Man movies can console themselves with the three or four dozen other superhero movies scheduled for release this summer.

2. Snoop Lion thinks Miley Cyrus is one of 'the greatest musicians... of all time'
Echoing the insistent cry of teenage Disney fans the world over, Snoop Lion — a.k.a. The Artist Formerly Known as Snoop Dogg — has named Miley Cyrus "one of the greatest musicians and personalities of all time." MTV News reports that the hyperbolic claim comes after a collaboration with Cyrus called "Ashtrays and Heartbreaks," was released earlier this month. Though Snoop did not offer his take on other "greatest musicians and personalities of all time," it's safe to assume the list also includes Hannah Montana, the mysterious pop star who has somehow never been photographed in the same room as Cyrus.

3. Justin Bieber responds to Anne Frank controversy with shirtless pictures
Pop star Justin Bieber was criticized earlier this week for commenting that he hoped Anne Frank "would have been a belieber" — comments some interpreted as vain and self-centered. But after more than a day without a response, Bieber has finally found the perfect way to prove his critics wrong: Posting two shirtless pictures of himself on Instagram. The New York Daily News reports that Bieber captioned the pictures "breaking news worldwide @justinbieber just posted 2 shirtless pictures he must be going crazy," generously writing his own headline and allowing gossip columnists to clock off early for the day.

4. Ellen offers to find Selena Gomez a new boyfriend
Most single 20-somethings who are trying to find a date turn to OKCupid — but in the wake of her breakup with Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, USA Today reports, has a considerably higher-profile fixer: Ellen DeGeneres, who offered to help Gomez find a new boyfriend on Monday. "It's got to be hard. Everybody knew you were a couple and now you're not together anymore — and of course no one's just going to leave it alone," said DeGeneres, paradoxically becoming one of those people making it harder by not leaving it alone.

5. Donald Trump's 7-year-old uses caviar moisturizer
Today, in stories we swear didn't come from The Onion: Barron Trump, the 7-year-old son of business mogul Donald Trump and wife Melania uses a "caviar-enhanced" moisturized from Melania's skincare line every night. "I put it on him from head to toe. He likes it!" says Melania at The Huffington Post, adding that she applies the moisturizer every night after Barron's bath — which is, we presume, in a Scrooge McDuck-esque pool full of gold coins.