1. Romney campaign scores three of 2012’s most searched-for memes
Mitt Romney may have lost the general election, but as far as internet memes go, he’s a landslide winner. The Los Angeles Times reports that three of the year’s most searched-for internet memes on Yahoo! emerged from the Romney campaign: “Eastwooding,” “Etch-a-Sketch,” and “binders full of women.”  At press time, Big Bird had yet to comment.

2. Adam Levine calls Honey Boo Boo “the decay of western civilization”
Reality TV star Honey Boo Boo is admittedly a polarizing figure, but Maroon 5’s Adam Levine took Boo Boo-bashing to a whole new level in a recent issue of GQ. “That show is literally The. Worst. Thing. That. Has. Ever. Happened,” says Levine. Meanwhile, Levine has been busily upholding America’s lofty cultural and artistic standards as a judge on one of the several dozen singing reality shows currently on the air. 

3. Hugh Hefner-Crystal Harris wedding allegedly back on
Who says remunerative romance is dead? ABC News reports that Crystal Harris, 26 — who called off her June wedding to Playboy patriarch Hugh Hefner, 86, just days before it was scheduled to occur — has become engaged to Hefner again, with a new wedding scheduled for New Year’s Eve. A source says that the wedding will be “an intimate gathering,” because nothing says intimate like the Playboy Mansion.

4. Christian Slater’s vote thrown out in Florida
Celebrities are used to getting what they want, but not even former Heathers star (and current C-list actor) Christian Slater can manage to cast a vote in Florida. According to BuzzFeed, Slater — who tweeted on election day that he had waited in line at the polls for five hours — received a letter telling him that his vote hadn’t been counted “because the signature on the ballot certification envelope did not match the signature on [his] voter registration card.” Slater also tweeted a picture of the letter, which came addressed to “Christina D. Slater,” which might offer a clue as to how the mix-up happened.

5. Official image of Ashton Kutcher as Steve Jobs released
Because no one could better evoke the spirit of genius and innovation embodied by Steve Jobs than the guy who replaced Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men, the producers of Jobs — a biopic of the Apple cofounder — cast Ashton Kutcher in the titular role. Now they've released the official Kutcher-in-character image, which looks exactly like Ashton Kutcher sitting next to a computer. Buzzfeed points out that Aaron Sorkin is penning a competing Jobs biopic, so anyone who prefers The Social Network to Dude Where’s My Car should plan accordingly.