Nobody wants to talk about Rush Limbaugh's penis, said Alex Koppelman in Salon, but here we are. After news broke that the Centers for Disease Control was considering encouraging circumcision for all baby boys born in the U.S.—to combat HIV—the conservative radio host said on the air that American men may have to "save our penises" from President Obama. Apparently, "we're in a world where the tiniest measure of government suggestion about sexual health equals a full onslaught against privacy."

Unfortunately, that's precisely where we are, said Ed Morrissey in Hot Air. "The government has no business being in the middle of that decision," especially since "circumcision does not provide an immunity to STDs, not AIDS or anything else." And it's especially scary that Obama wants to discourage unnecessary tonsillectomies but encourage unnecessary circumcisions—because it proves that ObamaCare is really about making us surrender our choices.

Good gracious—if the right-wing thinkers are right, we're starting down "a slippery slope that will inevitably lead to government-mandated castration!" said Dennis DiClaudio in Comedy Central's Indecision Forever. "And since it's common knowledge that conservative media folk only think in hives, we can pretty much guess that a penis theft panic" is upon us. Every man for himself!