Last Night on Late Night
The Jan. 6 committee held a surprise hearing on Tuesday, and The Late Show made it romantic.
"Whenever Congress says something like, 'Oh, this is a must-watch,' you're like, 'Eh, that's what they said about Morbius,' but let me tell you, people, today's hearing was insane!" Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. "It turns out the surprise witness today was Cassidy Hutchinson, a top aide to Donald Trump's chief of staff," and among her revelations is that "Trump was constantly throwing food tantrums," flinging ketchup-laden plates against the wall and flipping the table cloth.
And when the Secret Service said Trump couldn't lead his mob to the Capitol on Jan. 6, Hutchinson testified, he tried to grab the wheel of the presidential SUV and then attacked his lead agent, Noah said. Another "tantrum," yes, but "fighting your own Secret Service agent is kind of genius on Trump's part, because he's hitting the one person who can't hit back," at least not without jumping in front of their own punch.
"But the most damning part of today was when Hutchison revealed that when President Trump was told that some of the mob had weapons, he instructed security to take down metal detectors and let the mob in," Noah said. "Apparently, Trump wanted the metal detectors removed so that his supporters with guns could march to the Capitol," meaning "he didn't necessarily want to hang Mike Pence, he wanted to also give him the option of a firing squad."
According to Hutchinson's "shocking eyewitness testimony," Trump's Jan. 6 rallygoers "had spears on on the end of flag poles!" Stephen Colbert said at The Late Show. "Well, at least those flags will be able to defend themselves when the former president gropes them."
And while the testimony about Trump attacking the Secret Service and trying to grab the steering wheel "is insane, it is going to make a great season premiere of Kleptocrats in Cars Seizing Power," Colbert joked. Still, "the greatest quote in the history of congressional hearings" was when Hutchison disclosed that Trump "breaks a lot of dishes — which is why his handlers make sure his meals are served only in bucket or edible bowl."
The food tantrums testimony featured "two of Trump's favorite things coming together: ketchup and walls," Jimmy Fallon joked on The Tonight Show. Supporters can maybe laugh off the plate-smashing fits, but when Hutchinson got to Trump sending an armed mob to the Capitol, "Fox News was like, 'We'll be back right after this quick two-hour commercial break."