Dolphins are so last month. The Chinese military revealed its "secret weapon" yesterday: monkeys. The People's Liberation Army said it has trained a small contingent of the furry creatures to protect its air forces base from birds that endanger its fleet of planes. State-run media showed videos of the impressive feats the primates are capable of, such as quickly scurrying up trees to destroy nests, leaping far distances, and scaring off birds.
The monkeys are trained to respond to "precise whistle commands" from their handlers and can destroy six to eight birds nests an hour, reports the Washington Post. Migrating birds have long threatened the base's jets, since they frequently get sucked into their engines. Chinese media didn't reveal the base the monkeys are being used at, but described it as being in the Beijing military zone.
Anyway, be afraid. --Jordan Valinsky