President Trump is very worried about the safety of Virginia's potato crop.

On Tuesday, Trump unveiled a $19 billion coronavirus agricultural aid package that's aimed at covering farmers' price losses of 5 percent or more. And during his announcement ceremony alongside the leaders of major farm groups, Trump went on a gun-rights tangent with a starchy tint.

"We're going after Virginia, with your crazy governor," Trump declared during the ceremony, referring to Gov. Ralph Northam (D) and a package of gun control laws he enacted in April. "They want to take your Second Amendment away. You'll have nobody guarding your potatoes," Trump finished.

There's really no way to decipher what Trump was talking about here. Virginia turns out one of the smallest potato crops of any state each year, and there are no known threats to those spuds that would require a firearm-carrying security detail. Kathryn Krawczyk

Former Vice President Joe Biden pitched his "Buy American" plan Thursday in Dunmore, Pennsylvania, which his campaign says would create at least five million jobs in manufacturing and innovation.

The presumptive Democratic presidential nominee's plan narrows restrictions on what can be considered an American-made good and calls for investing $400 billion in manufacturing and $300 billion in research and development for several diverse industries, Politico reports. "America can't sit on the sidelines in the race of the future," Biden said. "The Chinese are spending multiple billions of dollars trying to own the technology of the future while we sit with our thumb in our ear."

Biden said President Trump has been all talk and no action, and "after three-and-a-half years of big promises, what do the American people have to show for all of the talk? He promised health care, a health care plan, but never even offered his own bill as he continues to try to wipe out Obamacare in the middle of a pandemic." While Trump has spent the coronavirus crisis "almost singularly focused on the stock market," Biden promises that if elected, he will be "laser focused on working families." Catherine Garcia

The forced resignation turned firing of former U.S. Attorney Geoffrey Berman wasn't the first time Attorney General William Barr tried to push Berman out of his job, he says.

Barr announced last month that Berman had resigned from his job, and, after Berman said he hadn't done so, Barr had Trump fire Berman at his direction. Berman gave written testimony to the House Judiciary Committee on Thursday telling his side of the story, and it reveals a deeper campaign to get Berman out of office, Politico reports.

Berman got an unexpected message from Barr on June 18, and had a 45-minute meeting with the attorney general the next day, Berman's testimony reads. "The attorney general began the meeting by saying that he wanted to make a change in the Southern District of New York," Berman wrote, and suggested Berman take a job in the Justice Department's Civil Division. Barr wanted to slot Securities and Exchange Commission Chair Jay Clayton into the role, Berman testified.

"I responded that I loved my job and my colleagues at the Southern District," and that "there were important investigations in the Office that I wanted to see through to completion," Berman continued. But Barr's prodding didn't stop, and eventually he said Berman would be fired if he didn't step down, Berman wrote. Berman then left the meeting and prepared to take legal action if he was ousted.

Berman, a Trump appointee, previously led the investigation into hush-money payments made to two women who alleged affairs with Trump, as well as probes into other Trump associates. He was also heading the investigation into financier and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. Kathryn Krawczyk

Former CDC Director Thomas Freidan and Education Secretary Arne Duncan of the Obama administration, along with former President George W. Bush's Education Secretary Margaret Spelling, teamed up for an article in The Atlantic weighing in on how to safely reopen schools. "We need to reopen schools this fall," the officials argue, and go on to list eight very specific steps to ensure doing so doesn't "backfire."

The officials start by acknowledging "severe illness from COVID-19 in children is rare." That's why it's more important to focus on "how well communities control the coronavirus throughout the community," and how schools fit into that puzzle. And to be sure, "in places where the virus is spreading explosively," reopening may not be possible for a while.

But where it is, schools should start by "shielding the most vulnerable" and keeping at-risk students and staff at home. For those who are at school, we should "reduce risk wherever possible" by cutting certain high-risk activities like team sports and choir. Barring nonessential visits will help "keep the virus out," the officials say, and wearing masks is essential. Class sizes will also need to shrink, perhaps into smaller "pods" and split schedules that "reduce mixing among students and staff" and "reduce occupancy" as a whole. "New health and safety protocols" will be key, and above all else, schools need to "prepare for cases" and be ready to close at any time.

But as Brown University Economics Professor Emily Oster noted to NPR on Thursday morning, all of those things will take supplies and money that many public schools simply don't have. Kathryn Krawczyk

Kylie Jenner might be busy ignoring California's nonessential travel ban, having popped over to Utah with her friends, but you can rest assured that she's taking all precautions.

Late Wednesday, Jenner posted photos of herself wearing an elaborate, beaded outfit made from thousands of "healing crystals." According to the designer, Erika Maish, who spoke with British Vogue, the "tangerine quartz" ensemble "symbolizes perseverance and strength" and "promotes creativity and acceptance of change," which sounds helpful during a raging national health catastrophe.

Maish added that her collection "explores this archetype of people leaving the city trying to find themselves in nature and new-age living," to say nothing of people leaving their states against the recommendations of their local governments. Jeva Lange

All I want for Christmas is … Mariah Carey's memoir. Thankfully, no one will have to wait quite that long: On Thursday, "the greatest female artist of all time" announced that her memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey, will finally be released on September 29, People reports.

"It took me a lifetime to have the courage and the clarity to write my memoir. I want to tell the story of the moments — the ups and downs, the triumphs and traumas, the debacles and the dreams, that contributed to the person I am today," Carey wrote on Instagram, adding that "it's been impossible to communicate the complexities and depths of my experience in any single magazine article or 10-minute television interview."

Are you obsessed yet? You can preorder a copy here. Jeva Lange

President Trump's personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, managed to avoid falling for one of Sacha Baron Cohen's pranks just weeks after the Who Is America? star successfully duped a crowd at a far-right rally into a racist sing-along.

On Wednesday, Giuliani was invited for an "interview," supposedly about the administration's response to COVID-19, when "a guy comes running in, wearing a crazy, what I would say was a pink transgender outfit," Giuliani recounted to Page Six. "It was a pink bikini, with lace, underneath a translucent mesh top, it looked absurd. He had the beard, bare legs, and wasn't what I would call distractingly attractive."

Giuliani didn't immediately recognize Cohen, and called the police, but later said he "felt good" because he didn't fall for the prank. "I am a fan of some of his movies, Borat in particular, because I've been to Kazakhstan," Giuliani explained. Jeva Lange