The Week contest - Theme park rides

Your body might be a wonderland...but what if it was a rollercoaster?

What if your body was a roller coaster?
(Image credit: Thinkstock)

Welcome to "What Next?", The Week's contest about current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Shorts story

Last week's question: Chef and gourmet Anthony Bourdain recently advised: "Your body is not a temple, it's an amusement park. Enjoy the ride." What would be a good name for a theme park ride based on the typical American's body?

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RESULTS:

THE WINNER: The Fat ’n’ Lazy River

Sam Esposito, Huntington Station, NY

SECOND PLACE: Spanx Mountain

Bill Hartman, Berwyn, PA

THIRD PLACE: SORRY—ride closed due to poor maintenance.

David Fisichella, Falmouth, MA

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

The Fat and the Furious

Erica Lopez, Beaumont, TX

The Gravy-tron

Michael Kaplan, Brooklyn, NY

Porky’s Revenge

France Kassing, Davis, CA

The Incredible Bulk

Lennie Burke, Winter Springs, FL

The Blob

Drew Filus, Studio City, CA

The Tragic Kingdom

Peter Simon, Toronto, CN

The Obeast

Joanne Sullivan, Maspeth, NY

Wide Wide West

Janine Witte, New Hope, PA

It’s a Large World

Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA

Plumper Cars

Roman G. Jarosh, Queensbury, NY

Tunnel of Love Handles

Paul Binder, Bellevue, WA

Merry-Go-Rotund

June Lacke, Rutland, MA

Six Flabs Great America

Ginny Lord, Oconomowoc, WI

Tilt-a-Scale

Jan Penske, Sellersburg, IN

Cholester-Roll

Stu McFarland, Parker, CO

Dangerous Curves

Mark R. Wolfe, Erie, PA

The Flabbergaster

Gayle French, Newark, DE

Pudgy Jumping

David Lunde, Paradise, CA

The Sofa

Jim Hatfield, Berwyn, PA

Sky-High TriglyceRide

Brent Ottaway, Hollidaysburg, PA

The Jelly Roll

Gordon Crain, Seneca, SC

Lard of the Rings

R. Towne, Chandler, AZ

The Expanding Universe

Richard A. Pichler, Seattle, WA

The Downward Spiral

Jennifer Sherry, New York City, NY

The Zipper Ripper

Carol O’Brien, Chadds Ford, PA

Sedentary Mountain

Aaron Malver, Seattle, WA

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