1. The Red Wedding: Storybook Edition
The penultimate episode of this season's Game of Thrones made for some of the most brutal and gut-wrenching moments in television history. Even if you read each and every chapter in A Song of Ice and Fire, watching all that blood being spilled was still hard to watch. Of course, distraught humans across the internet sought to cope with the emotional sucker-punch by doing what humans do best when confronted with things that make them uncomfortable: Turn said thing into a joke!
That said: Was this actually funny? I can't tell — I'm still too emotionally disturbed. Hold me.
2. In which an American hero is born
This week in too real: A kid's cymbal breaks while playing The Star-Spangled Banner, which, as anyone who has ever been in 7th-grade band will tell you, is a very important role. You can't make cymbals crash with just one cymbal, however; such a feat goes against the laws of percussioning.
Watch his recovery though, from the awkward half-squat to the 45-degree pivot towards the flag. Everything about this is amazing. Someone start a White House petition to put this kid on the thousand dollar bill. (Via Gawker)
3. Tumblr of the Week: Laid off from the Sun-Times
This week, the Chicago Sun-Times was forced to lay off a sizable chunk of its staff, including a few prize-winning photojournalists. Former staff photographer Rob Hart says he made this Tumblr because he "was replaced with a reporter with an iPhone," and decided to "document his new life with an iPhone, but with the eye of a photojournalist trained in storytelling."
5. Amazing: "How a Waka Flocka Flame Concert Ended My Marriage and Saved My Life"
Diane D. is 53-year-old woman who lives in South Florida. She looks like a mom, which is why you probably wouldn't expect her to be a hip-hop blogger. She did, however, write a pretty captivating essay this week about how everyone's favorite rapping muppet, Waka Flocka Flame, helped her finally ditch the loveless marriage she was trapped in. Here's an excerpt:
So Waka's following and retweeting me gave me happiness, more followers and credibility. He started my new career of reviewing rap artists. I can't ever thank him enough.
Now, my ex-husband and I had always had problems. We were on a typical bad relationship roller coaster; good times followed by bad times followed by good times and so on. Finally, the good times were just too far between and although the bad times subsided too, we fell into a very polite and civilized existence. That is, until Waka came to town.
My ex NEVER liked rap, my interest in rap & rap artists, or my blogging about rap. When I knew Waka was coming to Ft. Lauderdale, my husband basically said he wouldn't prevent me from going (as if) but he didn't want me to go. When I didn’t immediately agree not to go, things got worse. He basically implied that (and I'm paraphrasing) "many black men would be putting their bodies in close proximity to mine." Also, "since I was so enamored of Waka, if Waka asked, I might go out clubbing with him and end up doing something I’d regret."
I feel fairly attractive. I'm 53 now (52 at the time of the concert) and I try to keep myself presentable. I don't have as many lines and wrinkles as some women my age, and I've been told I look much younger than my true age. But…as attractive as I may or may not be, I know as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow that Waka and I were not destined to go clubbing together. And, nice thing to say to your wife. [Deep Commotion]
6. Anthropologie Girls
What if the waifish young women peddling lavender-scented bedside tables or whatever were cast in a nonsensical YouTube dialogue? GIRL. (Via The Hairpin)
7. Muggle attempts flight
The video title below says it all. (Via Laughing Squid)
8. Disco kid
You know that corny platitude that college kids like to post to #social #media? "Dance like no one's watching"? I'm pretty sure this kid ripping up a Russian disco circa 1990-something is the one who coined it. (Via Reddit)