1. Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak says Ashton Kutcher's Steve Jobs movie gets things "totally wrong"
In news that's shocking for a movie that features Ashton Kutcher as one of the most brilliant minds of the modern era, Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak has revealed that the upcoming Steve Jobs biopic jOBS  gets some real-life events "totally wrong." "Our relationship was so different than what was portrayed," says Wozniak, who is played by Josh Gad in the film. "I'm embarrassed, but if the movie is fun and entertaining, all the better." Viewers can presumably look forward to the scene in which a baffled Jobs asks, 'Dude, where's my iMac?"

2. J.J. Abrams pretty much just runs the entire sci-fi genre now
Between his upcoming Star Trek sequel and the recently announced Star Wars: Episode VII, you might think that Lost creator J.J. Abrams has enough sci-fi in his life — but you'd be wrong. Entertainment Weekly reports that Fox has just ordered a pilot for an Abrams-produced "robot cops" show set in a future where "LAPD officers are paired with highly evolved human-like androids." Having snagged this last sci-fi project for his vast empire, Abrams is finally free to boldly go to the far, far away galaxy of a new genre. (We suggest rom-coms.)

3. Lindsay Lohan made out with Pauly D one time, says Snooki
Quick — name the least appealing celebrity couple you can imagine. If you said Lindsay Lohan and Jersey Shore's Pauly D, congratulations! They may have hooked up three years ago, reports fellow Jersey Shore alumni Snooki at Celebuzz. "I feel like they made out," after meeting in Los Angeles, reports Snooki, adding that she thinks the beleaguered Lohan is a "fun girl" who has just "made a few mistakes" — like, say, hooking up with the star of an MTV reality show.

4. Taylor Swift thinks cheating is bad
Taking yet another deeply controversial moral stand, Taylor Swift has officially declared that cheating is bad. "I think that loyalty is something that's really important in your friends, in your relationships, in your family," explains Swift at E! Online, expressing an opinion that's sure to rankle all her pro-disloyalty fans.

5. Princess Diana photo sells to mystery buyer for $18,000
Earlier this month, a mysterious black-and-white picture of a pre-royalty Princess Diana labeled "not to be published" was widely published across the internet. The photo, which shows Diana reclining with friend Adam Russell, has officially been purchased by an anonymous real estate investor from San Diego, who spent a whopping $18,000 to acquire the original print. Those who don't have $18,000 to spare can go to People, where the picture can be viewed for the whopping price of nothing.