1. Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green had a baby last month
In the 24-hour celebrity news cycle, it's impressive when a star can keep a secret for 20 minutes — let alone 20 days. So kudos to Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green, who concealed the Sept. 27 birth of their son Noah Shannon Green for the better part of a month. According to People Magazine, Fox wrote on her Facebook page that Noah is "perfect," which seems merely adequate given his gene pool.

2. Ashton Kutcher is the highest-paid actor on television
Nit-pickers will note that it's a far cry from the $40 million salary Charlie Sheen earned at the height of his run on CBS' Two and a Half Men, but the series' replacement star Ashton Kutcher will collect $24 million this year — according to Forbes' estimates — making him TV's top-paid actor. The overachieving Kutcher is also dating former That 70's Show costar Mila Kunis, whom Esquire recently named the Sexiest Woman Alive.

3. Bristol Palin won't forgive Jimmy Kimmel for cracks about her mom
Bristol Palin was recently eliminated from Dancing With the Stars "like a majestic wild moose suddenly felled by a rifle blast," as Jimmy Kimmel put it while introducing her on his late-night show on Tuesday. Bristol was the one who came out firing, though, refusing to accept Kimmel's "apology" for his years of jokes about her mother, reports Entertainment Weekly. Kimmel acknowledged that he wasn't really sorry, but offered an olive branch: "You can make 48,000 jokes about my mother." Bristol generously resisted the offer.

4. Kate Gosselin fired from coupon-blogging gig
Kate Gosselin — formerly of reality series Jon & Kate Plus 8 — is now also formerly of CouponCabin.com, reports Starpulse. CEO Scott Kluth posted on the company's website that Gosselin, who wrote a blog on saving money, was "simply not a good fit with the wonderful team and culture at CouponCabin." But don't fear for Gosselin or her octo-brood: She subsequently tweeted that she's already "super busy" on her next project.

5. Johnny Depp launching literary imprint with Harper
You'd think that Johnny Depp, as an actor/musician/restauranteur/handsome guy, might be content with being a quadruple threat. But the star has announced plans to launch a literary books imprint, reports The Wall Street Journal. Harper president Jonathan Burnham called Depp "smart and perceptive" to invest in literature, which, true or false, is the kind of thing you say when an A-list actor joins your publishing house.