1. Russell Crowe and Danielle Spencer split up, Crowe grows massive breakup beard
After nine years of marriage, Russell Crowe and Danielle Spencer have reportedly called it quits. Spencer — said to be quietly dating Damian Whitewood, her partner on the Australian version of Dancing With The Stars — seems to have landed on her feet. Meanwhile, Crowe has "morphed into Only Fools and Horses' Uncle Albert," says The Daily Mail, making an inscrutably British reference to the bushy breakup beard the actor is now sporting, in the proud tradition of dumped college sophomores the world over.

2. Journey's Neal Schon proposes to Real Housewife Michaele Salahi
On the other end of the celebrity love spectrum: On Sunday night, the Journey guitarist interrupted a concert in Baltimore, Md., to propose to former Real Housewives of D.C. star Michaele Salahi, leading Us Weekly to chirp inevitably: "Don't Stop Believin' this romance is real!" After Michaele said yes, the band launched into a celebratory rendition of their song "Faithfully" — with unintentional irony, given that the relationship began while Michaele was still married to her ex, Tareq Salahi.

3. Kanye West attacks paparazzo over Reggie Bush question
On Sunday night in Miami, the Watch the Throne rapper chased after a paparazzo who asked his date Kim Kardashian if she'd like to congratulate former flame Reggie Bush on his girlfriend Lilit Avagyab's pregnancy. Though Kanye attempted to take the paparazzo's camera, he didn't actually strike her (notwithstanding the paparazzo's later claim that "Kanye West just tried to beat me up"). "Kim was smiling during the entire confrontation," says TMZ, adding an opaque Raymond Carver-esque detail to the otherwise sordid tale. 

4. Hulk Hogan to sue Bubba the Love Sponge over leaked sex tape
Today in racy, if convoluted, headlines: Erstwhile wrestler Hulk Hogan has announced plans to sue former best friend Bubba the Love Sponge for invasion of privacy, after Bubba allegedly "masterminded" and leaked a sex tape depicting Hogan and Bubba's now-estranged wife Heather, reports the Star-Ledger. At the end of the tape (and after Hogan leaves the room) Bubba reportedly says, "If we ever did want to retire, all we'd have to do is use this footage" — clearly overlooking the possibility that Hogan would file a massive lawsuit in response.

5. Elizabeth Taylor had flings with two former U.S. presidents
At least, that's what authors Danforth Prince and Darwin Potter allege in Elizabeth Taylor: There is Nothing Like a Dame, the latest in a series of apparently not-quite-exhaustive tell-all books about the actress. Prince and Potter's big scoop, according to The Huffington Post: Taylor had a tryst with Ronald Reagan as a teenager, and later participated in a threesome with John F. Kennedy and actor Robert Stack. The book also details Taylor's alleged hook-ups with Peter Lawford, Errol Flynn, Tony Curtis, and Paul Newman. Curious readers can find out which actors the iconic actress isn't alleged to have slept with when the book is released tomorrow.