Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Stripper ballet

Last week's question: New York City was rated as the dirtiest city in America by Travel & Leisure magazine, as well as the rudest and the loudest. Keeping these ratings in mind, please create a new tourist slogan for the Big Apple. 


THE WINNER: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Gross
Bill DuPre, Raleigh, NC

SECOND PLACE: I Eff-ing ♥ New York
Joe Valetti, San Leandro, CA

THIRD PLACE: If you can't make it here, you need to shut the hell up.
Travis Pagel, New York, NY


The City that Never Sweeps
Bess Nagler, New York, NY

What falls on the sidewalk, stays on the sidewalk.
Joanne Sullivan, Maspeth, NY

New York City — Step In It!
Joe Abbott, Chico, CA

Challenging immune systems since 1664.
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA

Take a bite out of grime.
David George, Strykersville, NY

Ready to get homesick?
Al Stoffel, San Diego, CA

We're loud enough, we're dirty enough, and gosh darn it, people like us!
Ginny Lord, Oconomowoc, WI

New York: You gotta problem with that?
Keith Hudson, Tucson, AS

Welcome to New York City: Breeding Ground of Dreams
Elna Nugent, Lenox, MA

New York City: Watch where you step, a--hole!
Rich Herbst, West Chester, PA

NYC: Where Rats Control the Tourist Infestation
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA

We don’t need you, we don’t want you, and we play dirty.
Ken Elwert, Lapeer, MI

So much vice, they named it twice!
Timothy A. Ryan, Baltimore, MD

Small drinks, big stinks
John Smigelsky, Matawan, NJ

110 decibels and climbing!
Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD

Bite Me
Jessie Dunston, New York, NY