GOOD DAY FOR:

Respecting your elders
The TSA announces it will begin testing new, less-intrusive screening procedures next week for fliers 75 and older. [Consumerist]

The Apple empire
The tech giant's stock hits the $600-per-share milestone just one month after hitting the $500 mark. [Newser]

Musical longetivity
Bruce Springsteen scores his tenth number one album with Wrecking Ball, knocking Adele's 21 out of the coveted top spot. [Billboard]

BAD DAY FOR:

Not making a scene
Police issue a warrant for the arrest of bad-boy comedian Russell Brand after he allegedly grabs a paparrazzo's iPhone and throws it through a window. [Fox News]

Animal lovers
An earless bunny that became a German celebrity is accidentally crushed to death by a cameraman filming the rabbit's primetime debut. [The Guardian]

Peach State pride
Bloomberg's "Sucker Index" calculates that out of all 50 states, residents of Georgia spend the most money on the lottery relative to their income. [Huffington Post]

For more winners and losers see: Good day, bad day: March 14, 2012