A love quadrangle came to “a sticky end” for Donessa Davis, said Paul Thompson in Britain’s Daily Mail, after his wife, Tracy Hood-Davis, and three of his lovers took their “painful revenge” on him. One of the lovers, Therese Ziemann, lured him to a hotel room for a bondage session and “massage”—then she and the other three “angry women” cut off his underwear, taunted him, and Krazy Glued his “manhood” to his stomach.

Talk about the “ultimate female bonding,” said Emily Kaiser in the Minneapolis City Pages. The women “all became so close” after the wife discovered the “love quad” and notified the mistresses. They decided Donessa Davis should be “tortured for his poor relationship skills,” and they not only superglued his genitals, but also slapped him and asked whom he loved best.

Maybe the ladies will continue bonding in jail, said Michelle Cottle in The New Republic. All four face criminal charges, including false imprisonment and sexual assault. “How juicy will jury selection in these trials be,” as lawyers try to weed out all spurned women, plus those who just think “all men are faithless dogs”? Whatever happens, “this case has Fox reality show written all over it”—a John Wayne Bobbitt cameo, anyone?