What Next? Contest: Grad Card - June 5, 2009

Click here for results of last week's What Next? Contest: Wine

Results: Due to pomp and circumstances beyond their control, this spring's college grads are entering the worst job market in years. We asked you to predict the next Hallmark graduation card for them, and thus we heard lots of: You've got the prize!/Now go get the fries. You've done so well/Next stop: Taco Bell. You're a brand new grad!/Welcome home—Mom and Dad. The envelope, please?

FIRST PRIZE:

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Though you've got your diploma

And will never get hired,

Think on the bright side!

You'll never get fired.

Ed Zaporowski, Wales, NY

SECOND PRIZE:

Congratulations on your degree

Your career can now take flight

So pack your bags and start your life

Your future looks Mc Bright!

Charissa and Debbie Schubert, Alta Loma, CA

THIRD PRIZE:

Congrats to our grad!

You've made us so proud.

With love, Mom and Dad.

P.S.—Three's a crowd

Linda Umstead, Mililani, Hawaii

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Four years and a college diploma!

Too bad you're still living at homa.

Chris Haddox, Washington, MO

Congratulations brother!

Although the future sucks

You've got your education—

Can you loan me fifty bucks?

Neal Gladstone, Corvallis, OR

Congratulations on a job well done!

(Inside)

In case you find a job, just remember that's also how I like my burgers!

Morrie Lewis, Boise, ID

Gown and mortarboard and tassel,

You earned them all without a hassle;

So put the shine of your summa cum laude

And tell the end of the breadline, Howdy!

Virginia Hughes, Paradise, CA

Your grad school days have come and gone

We look forward to having you mow the lawn!

Louise Winn, Honaunau, HI (and others, similar)

Congratulations on your college degree!

It's too bad you couldn't have done it for free

You could have saved all the cash and invested in gold

And retired in Florida at 30 years old.

Best of luck in your job search.

Laurie Rivera, Battle Creek, MI

Congratulations graduate

Now is your chance to seize the day

And if you chance to seize a job

I've enclosed my resume.

Brett Hammond, Farmington, Utah