- #ThingsTimHowardCouldSave July 2
Tim Howard is the most revered man in America after his record-setting performance Tuesday for the U.S. men's soccer team. Though the U.S. went down 2-1 against Belgium, Howard was so marvelous in defeat that Americans clamored to have his visage carved on Mt. Rushmore and stamped on coins. A federal petition seeking to rename Washington, D.C.'s airport in his honor is steadily gaining signatures.
So how good is Howard at making saves? According to a Twitter hashtag, Howard could have saved the dinosaurs from going extinct:
Howard is so good, he could have saved fictional characters like (Warning: spoilers) Mufasa…
Game of Thrones' Ned Stark...
And Bambi. (Though really, this one would make more sense were it Bambi's mother.)
Howard can stop bullets, a la The Matrix.
He could have saved swimmers from Jaws...
and kept Blockbuster from going belly up.
Howard could have saved Obi-Wan's master, Qui-Gon Jinn...
before warping through space and time to punch the Titanic away from that iceberg.
But perhaps the most practical Howard save of all: He could have kept Luis Suarez form biting Italy's Giorgio Chellini.
Chuck Norris, eat your heart out.- -
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