Family: Caring for aging parents

Taking care of an aging relative can be costly in more ways than one, said Ann Carrns in The New York Times. Nearly 40 percent of Americans today are caring for someone with a serious health issue, up from 30 percent in 2010, according to a new Pew Research Center study. Those caretakers are “likely to report poor health themselves, and to shortchange their own financial future.” The federal Family and Medical Leave Act requires certain types of employers to grant unpaid personal leave, but its 12-week annual limit offers little help to those dealing with the chronic needs of an elderly person. The average caregiver, if she leaves the workforce, will lose more than $324,000 in wages and Social Security and pension benefits.

If you expect to care for an aging parent one day, start planning now, said Juliette Fairley in MainStreet.com. Your employer may offer a legal benefit package that gives you affordable access to patient advocates, who can help you put together a strategy. Make sure you have a full picture of your parents’ financial and legal situation, including where any financial documents are stored. Have them equip you with a power of attorney, so you can make financial or medical decisions on their behalf. And you should encourage them to prepare an advanced directive that “outlines a person’s wishes about medical and life-sustaining procedures.”

These are touchy topics, said Sally Herigstad in Bankrate.com. It takes time and sensitivity to make your parents’ finances “something you can talk about comfortably.” If you have siblings, enlist their aid. “It’s helpful to have two or more people try talking to the parent about money not lasting forever and the importance of watching expenses.” If your parents have any financial contacts, such as accountants, landlords, or tenants, get to know them. Be prepared to step in at the first sign of trouble, but remember to be respectful and keep your parents “involved as long as possible.”

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“Your approach is crucial,” said Carolyn Rosenblatt in Forbes.com. Elders often “have an attitude of secrecy about their financial situation,” so getting them to open up can be a challenge. Instead of exacerbating their fears of losing control over their lives, make the process about yourself: Tell them “you are concerned that if something went wrong, you would be completely lost as to how to help them.” The main thing is not to wait until you need a lawyer to get a court order for guardianship. Start early. “You’ll be glad you did.”