Finances: A delicate topic for couples

Don’t wait until after you’re married to talk about money with your fiancé, said Dan Kadlec in Time.com. According to a new survey by the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, two thirds of engaged Americans find discussing finances with their partners painful; 45 percent of engaged couples acknowledge that such a discussion is necessary, but find it awkward. It doesn’t get much easier for those who are already married: More than a quarter of couples say that money is the prime bone of contention in their marriage, “ahead of children, work, chores, and friends.”

That’s why it’s important to air the issue early and fully, said Melanie Hicken in CNN.com. People have vastly different approaches to money, often conditioned by the way they were raised. “Someone who had an allowance or opened a savings account at a young age may be more used to sticking to a budget,” while “someone who was given many gifts as a child may view spending money as a way to express love.” Couples planning to merge their finances will save themselves a lot of grief later on if they identify and recognize their money habits and set ground rules.

Start by leveling with each other about debt, said Geoff Williams in USNews.com. Such a discussion can be “a romance buzz-killer,” but entering a marriage with hidden debts is bound to breed mistrust down the line. Check each other’s credit scores, too. If you find a problem, “consider asking your beloved to get some financial counseling.” A fiscally irresponsible spouse could wreck your credit score, savings, and retirement plans. You also have to figure out how your household will handle money, including whether to join checking accounts and how to divide up expenses.

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These worries don’t end at the altar, of course, said Ray Martin in CBSNews.com. Marriage poses immediate questions about whether to file joint or separate tax returns and which deductions each partner can claim. “Exchanging rings does not automatically make a spouse responsible for the debts” in the other’s name, but you’ll both be on the hook for accounts opened jointly. Keeping at least one account open in each partner’s name is good for preserving and building an individual credit history. Remember to update your benefits plans at work, too. As a “change in family status,” marriage allows you to revise your insurance options for something that better fits the evolving needs of you and your partner.