1. Kanye West says he didn't cheat on Kim Kardashian
Earlier today, Canadian model Leyla Ghobadi came out with a story claiming that she had repeatedly hooked up with Kanye West, despite the rapper's highly publicized relationship with Kim Kardashian. But don't expect the high-profile couple to go all 808s & Heartbreak anytime soon; according to a representative for West, the story is totally false. "It's a blatant attempt by a misguided individual who is clearly seeking publicity," the representative told TMZ. Given that every gossip website is writing about it, the strategy seems to have been an effective one. [TMZ]
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2. Miley Cyrus says she's not hooking up with Justin Bieber
Kanye West wasn't the only celebrity who had to deny a high-profile hookup today. After Miley Cyrus was photographed talking with Justin Bieber at a club over the weekend, gossip sites wildly speculated that the two were an item — because they're young and famous, and because it was a slow news day. So just for the record: Miley Cyrus is still engaged to Liam Hemsworth, and she called Hot 99.5 to put the rumors to rest. "I'm engaged," repeated Cyrus, when asked about a possible Bieber hookup. "That is impossible," she added — which, while technically inaccurate, will hopefully be enough to put the rumors to rest. [TMZ]
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3. Jackie Chan wants to make a musical about his life
When you think about Jackie Chan, what's the first genre that comes to mind? If you said "biographical musical," you probably don't know much about the actor's filmography — but you're also right! According to The Hollywood Reporter, Chan intends to develop his memoir I Am Jackie Chan: My Life in Action into a stage musical, which would focus on his early life at the Peking Opera School. Hardcore Chan fans may be disappointed that the musical's story will likely end before the actor becomes one of the world's top action stars, but don't feel too bad about it — at least we won't have to relive The Tuxedo. [The Hollywood Reporter]
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4. Helen Mirren probably won't be the next Doctor Who
Now that Doctor Who star Matt Smith is officially hanging up his sonic screwdriver, fans have begun feverishly speculating about which actor will get the keys to the TARDIS. But they can safely cross one name off the list: Dame Helen Mirren, whose wish for a female Doctor apparently wasn't a thinly veiled attempt to get the gig. When informed that one bookmaker put her chances of getting the role at 25 to one, Mirren replied, "Oh, please, I would put much longer odds on it than that." Quick — someone call Judi Dench and see if she's available. [Mirror]
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5. Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer finally reveal their babies' names
You can stop holding your breath, everybody: After nine months of nonstop anticipation, True Blood stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer have finally taken mercy on us and revealed the names of their baby twins. At True Blood's season six premiere on Tuesday, Moyer referred to the littlest vampires for the first time as "Poppy" and "Charlie," presumably because "Opium" and "Cocaine" were a little too risque. [E! Online]
