Who is Britain's mysterious real-life Batman?

Batman has given up on Gotham and, apparently, his exercise routine. A frumpy version of the Caped Crusader turned in a suspected burglar to a police station in Bradford, England, according to the BBC. The official statement from the Trafalgar House Police Station:

While the BBC tracked down a woman who believes she sold the costume to the man, his identity remains unknown. We, however, have a few theories on who the man behind the mask could be:

1. A politician who protests too much

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Clue that you are, in fact, Batman? Denying that you're Batman. That's what MP George Galloway did this morning on his Twitter account. Friends of Mr. Galloway should be on the lookout for excessive brooding, a sudden interest in spelunking, and any close friendships with elderly butlers.

2. An aging actor making a comeback

Maybe there is a reason the secretive hero was dressed as the campy 1960s Batman instead of the most recent one: Adam West is back. We hope this means the return of the Batcomputer.

3. A boy-band heartthrob

Speaking of classic '60s Batman, One Direction's Zayn Malik was spotted last year with a "ZAP!" tattoo on his arm, which is probably why online betting site Ladbrokes put the odds that he is Bradford's Batman at 50/1. The evidence against it? We're pretty sure Malik would die before covering up that hair.

4. The real deal

Has anyone tried looking up Wayne, Bruce in the Bradford phonebook? Last time we checked in on him in The Dark Knight Rises, he was traipsing around Europe with Anne Hathaway. She'll be the one giving a teary, carefully rehearsed speech in front of a large audience.