Wit

Students panic over Wikipedia's blackout: The best jokes

The treasure trove of sometimes-correct information goes dark to protest SOPA, complicating homework assignments for a nation of tech-dependent pupils

Wikipedia's self-imposed shutdown Wednesday, meant to encourage U.S. users to protest the controversial Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), has sent students conditioned to using the online encyclopedia into a frantic panic. Many have taken to Twitter to express their concerns: "I'm tryna tell y'all if they take away Wikipedia, I'm going to fail hella classes. No Bullsh*t," reads one tweet in Buzzfeed's roundup of "25 angry kids who can't do their homework because of the Wikipedia blackout." Of course, bloggers are cracking wise about a generation that has, apparently, never heard of a library card or Encyclopedia Britannica. Here, some of the best jokes:

Priorities
Today is an important day, and not just because it's the day that "a number of huge internet properties band together in an unprecedented show of unity to defeat a common foe," says Jon Bershad at Mediaite. It's also apparently "the day right before that big History test."

Old school
"One of my senior colleagues has informed me of something called Encyclopedia Britannica, which seems to be some sort of paper book (I know!) containing all sorts of facts," says Patrick Kingsley at the U.K.'s Guardian. The downside: It was published in 1989. "What is tattooed on the back of Megan Fox's neck? I couldn't tell you. Where was Arthur Scargill born? Now we're talking."

Drastic times, drastic measures
For today's high school students and college undergrads, the Wikipedia blackout means hearing a generation's most dreaded phrase, says Slate: "You may want to dust off your library cards."

Pretty please
Wikipedia, sometimes plagued by misinformation, is banned by many teachers. But it's still the most plagiarized website in high school papers, says Cynthia Boris at Market Pilgrim. It's "kind of ironic," then, that students are resorting to "begging teacher for an extended deadline on those book reports" in Wikipedia's absence.

A fine example
It's not just students who are distraught, says Max Read at Gawker. Depressingly, a Twitter search has "found a bunch of teachers — teachers — whining that they couldn't do their lessons without Wikipedia."

Wake-up call
Well, this settles it, says Jeanne Sager at The Stir. Our "kids are useless in the face of adversity." Why on Earth are these tech-dependent "brats" freaking out over one little website? For heaven's sake, "Google is still up and running." 

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