Why don't smartphones have nicknames?

How the digital device shattered the way we ascribe meaning to things

Just an object.
(Image credit: iStockphoto)

Why don't we have nicknames for our smartphones? It used to be pretty common for people to have nicknames for the objects they kept close, whether cars or musical instruments or computers. I called my first laptop "Mini," short for Minerva. It was gray, and it seemed wise. It had a floppy disk drive and no connection to the internet. By the time I finally gave up using it, the keys were worn smooth and the entire hard drive was smaller than the software I'd need to connect it to a printer. I still call it "Mini" in my mind.

But I've never heard of anyone with a nickname for a smartphone.

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Catherine Nichols

Catherine Nichols has written for Jezebel, Aeon, Electric Literature, Full Stop, Triangle House Review, and other sites. She lives in Massachusetts.