The 2019 Oscars haven't even happened yet, and already, they've been kind of a mess. There's been a hosting debacle, a controversy over several Best Picture nominees, and sexual abuse allegations.
But don't let all that keep you from enjoying the awards for what they are: a chance to hang out with your friends, celebrate your favorite movies, argue about which actors are hot, criticize ridiculously expensive dresses, and eat and drink delicious things.
Every year, my friends and I come up with an Oscars party menu full of puns based on the films, actors, and directors in the running for gold statues. (Think "Baked Brie Larson" and "Three Cheeseboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" with "Pie, Tonya" for dessert.) I cannot recommend this enough. It will make your Oscars viewing party 10 times more fun and will delight even the most serious cinephile.
Here's my suggested menu — my Oscar noms, if you will — for the upcoming awards show.
1. "Adam Screwdrivers"
Enjoy a classic cocktail to celebrate everyone's favorite tall weirdo, Adam Driver, who scored his first Oscar nomination for his role in BlacKkKlansman.
What you need: Orange juice, strong vodka, strong opinions about Adam Driver's face
2. "Can You Ever Forgive Tea?"
For a non-alcoholic option, offer your guests a few varieties of tea in honor of Can You Ever Forgive Me?, which is nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay and was one of my personal favorites this year. Melissa McCarthy earned a Best Actress nod for her role as the acerbic Lee Israel, an author turned literary forger who probably drank a lot of tea.
What you need: Tea
3. "Spiked Tea"
OK, so now that you have tea, just throw some liquor in it to make "Spiked Tea." You know, like Spike Lee? The legendary director who somehow just earned his first Best Director nomination for BlacKkKlansman? This one's a bit of a stretch, but just go with it.
What you need: The same tea from before, liquor of your choice
4. "A Star Is Corn"
A Star Is Born is up for tons of awards — including Best Picture, Best Original Song, and Best Cinematography — so you have to honor it with something delicious. Corn is incredibly versatile, so here's a good chance to get creative. A Star Is Corn Chowder? A Star Is Corn On The Cob? A Star Is Cornbread? Do what you want.
What you need: Corn, whatever accoutrements you want for the corn, and a 10-minute loop of Lady Gaga screaming the best part of "Shallow" (optional but strongly recommended)
5. "If Beale Street Could Tacos"
While it did earn nominations for Best Original Score and Best Adapted Screenplay (and Regina King earned a Best Supporting Actress nod), many fans think If Beale Street Could Talk deserved a Best Picture nomination. So make sure you don't snub this film at your party and honor it with some delicious, crowd-pleasing tacos. If you want to get really fancy, you could make a filling out of Regina King Crab, but really, any filling will do.
What you need: Tortillas, taco filling, king crab if you're rich
6. "Isle Of Hot Dogs"
Wes Anderson's dystopian, animated tale of abandoned dogs, which is up for Best Animated Film and Best Original Score, is really just a good excuse to eat hot dogs. Wrap them in crescent rolls for a nostalgic treat or, if you're feeling festive, arrange them on an island-themed serving platter to go with the theme.
What you need: Hot dogs, an island-themed serving platter (extremely optional)
7. "Christian Kale Salad With Roma Tomatoes"
I'm mainly suggesting this because if you don't include Roma tomatoes (a nod to Alfonso Cuaron's drama Roma), one of your guests will definitely ask why you didn't think of it. Same goes for Christian Bale, whose name easily lends itself to kale. So just get ahead of all that and combine these two items into a salad.
What you need: Kale, Roma tomatoes, dressing of your choice, probably some cheese to make the salad taste better
8. "Vice Cream Sandwiches" or "Rachel Weisz Cream Sandwiches"
Depending on your preferences, you can honor Vice — up for awards including Best Picture and Best Film Editing — or actress Rachel Weisz, nominated for her role in The Favourite. Either way, everyone loves ice cream sandwiches, so this will be a crowd pleaser. Get a few varieties of ice cream and cookies and let your guests mix and match.
What you need: Cookies, ice cream, the ability to sit through enough of the Oscars to make it to dessert