Speed Reads

Charlie Hebdo

The Onion responds to the Charlie Hebdo murders in its best, tragicomic Onion tradition

The Onion's finest moment, arguably, was its first issue after moving to New York City, published right after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks in 2001. The French are reportedly calling the terrorist attack on the satirical weekly Charlie Hebdo the country's 9/11, and The Onion has once again risen to the occasion.

"According to totally and utterly depressing early reports, given the tragic deaths of 12 people, it is impossible to say with absolute certainty that this 500-word article will not make those involved in its writing — and potentially even those not involved — the targets of brutal and unconscionable violence," The Onion wrote in its article:

At press time, although the consequences of this article are reportedly still unclear and actual human lives may hang in the balance, sources confirmed that the best thing to do — really the only thing to do — is to simply put it out there and just hope that it does some good. [The Onion]

It's not exactly on par with the cathartic "Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves in Hell" or pitch-perfect "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule," but it's still a nice show of support for a fellow satirical publication, and free speech. Read the entire article at The Onion.