Speed Reads

Colbert Nationalism

Stephen Colbert literally debates himself over American torture

The Senate report released last week about the CIA's use of torture on detainees has divided America on ideological grounds. "Obviously, a debate that can't be debated because minds will not be changed can only be debated by the most unchangeable mind," said Stephen Colbert on Monday night's Colbert Report: "Me, Stephen Colbert." Then, through the magic of television, Colbert, wearing a blue tie, debated a red-tied version of himself.

The red-tie Colbert, agreeing with Bill O'Reilly, explained that the U.S. can't be held accountable for any excesses after 9/11, because it was angry, like the Incredible Hulk, and now it is back to normal, like Bruce Banner. The bottom line, red-tie Colbert said, is that "America does not torture, but we had to, and we will never do it again, unless it's to protect America." --Peter Weber