Speed Reads

The Daily Showdown

The Daily Show piles on the Secret Service, with Home Alone and Ebola jokes

Jon Stewart has been kind of hard on Congress lately, but on Wednesday night's Daily Show he found an institution he was less impressed with: the U.S. Secret Service. After running through the three major recently revealed scandals with President Obama's security detail, he panned the sub-par responses from Secret Service Director Julia Pierson (who resigned after Stewart taped) to a House oversight committee on Tuesday. The hearing "did not go well," Stewart emphasized.

"Here's how dysfunctional the Secret Service is at this point," he said. "Congress had to help them come up with solutions." These included a new alarm system, a Spanish Bayonet plant (don't Google it), a new fence, and one "truly terrible" idea from Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) to shoot all intruders. But none of those ideas measure up to the one floated by a beat-up-looking Senior White House Correspondent Jordan Klepper. "To protect himself, Obama has Home Alone'd the White House?" Stewart asked. For some reason he's skeptical that the best way to protect the president is "a system of whimsical traps." And that's when things got really absurd. Stick around for the final punch line. --Peter Weber