On Tuesday night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart turned to the world of international diplomacy. Specifically, he delved into last weekend's high-profile negotiations between Iran, the U.S., and other global powers over curbing Iran's nuclear program. Hopes were so high for a deal that U.S Secretary of State John Kerry and his counterparts for Iran, Britain, France, Russia, China, and Germany — oh, and "a Jon Stewart impersonator" — dropped everything to rush to Geneva for the final talks.
This is the closest Iran and the U.S. have come to a diplomatic rapprochement in 34 years. Stewart imagined what must have transpired at the table, even trying out his lip-reading skills. Unfortunately, things fell apart. (On the Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert noted that France played the key role in scuttling the all-but-signed deal — watch below)
So Kerry left Geneva with no deal, saying that Iran walked away from the table. Iranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif sent a tweet suggesting that Kerry poisoned the deal.
Mr. Secretary, was it Iran that gutted over half of US draft Thursday night? and publicly commented against it Friday morning?
— Javad Zarif (@JZarif) November 11, 2013
That stopped Stewart for a second. "He tweeted? We haven't talked for 34 years, we get together, and you f--king tweet a breakup?" he asked. Besides, Stewart added, "doesn't the tweeting take the gravitas out of it?"
Stewart then turned to Senior International Affairs Correspondent Samantha Bee to see how Obama is taking the diplomatic setback. For the purposes of this show, he's taking it badly. "Obama really needed a win," Bee said, listing all the things dragging Obama down — including one that she trots out for giggles: "Now, when you try to sign up for ObamaCare, your computer punches you in the dick." The president is so desperate for a win, she added, he's playing Call of Duty on easy "just to rack up the achievements."
Bee's report was apparently the transition to Stewart's next segment, on the "Medical A Team" of doctors Fox News has assembled to... well, "agree with Fox News talking points," he said. Stewart then played a bunch of "Fox medical contributors" criticizing the Obama administration on heath insurance and... patriotism, government regulation, basically "any Fox talking point."
"My point is this," Stewart said: "These guys seem less like doctors and more like the shady expert witnesses paid by the defense to say that, 'The bullet hole exit wound — I dunno, maybe that's a third nipple.'"
Tuesday's Colbert Report also examined what went wrong in Iran. While Stewart noted the mutual finger-pointing by Kerry and Zarif, Colbert pointed out that the country most responsible for balking at a deal was France. "The president's been out-toughed by the French?" Colbert asked. "That's like being out-sobered by Toronto Mayor Rob Ford." Ultimately, he applauds France for having the "escargot" to stand up against a bad deal, and pays the French a dubious compliment. Watch: