1. Johnny Depp is still threatening to retire from acting
Now that The Lone Ranger's poor showing at the box-office has revealed that audiences may be finally tiring of his wacky accents and silly hats, Johnny Depp is continuing to hint that he'll retire from acting — presumably to speak in wacky accents and wear silly hats in private. "Are there quieter things I wouldn't mind doing? Yeah, I wouldn't mind that," said the actor in an interview with the BBC. "I wouldn't say I am dropping out any second, but I would say it's probably not too far away." But not, presumably, before he applies his craft to personal passion projects like the already-planned sequels to Pirates of the Caribbean and Alice in Wonderland. [Entertainment Weekly]

2. Will Arnett is "very open" to making more Arrested Development
As anyone who watched Netflix's fourth season of Arrested Development knows, there are still dozens of cliffhangers and labyrinthine in-jokes to be resolved. But for anyone fearing that the show's entire cast has taken a Forget-Me-Now, Will Arnett wants to reassure you that they still have a few illusions up their sleeves. "I think that for all of us, Arrested is something that we love doing and we love working together," said Arnett in an interview with Entertainment Weekly. "Whatever sort of incarnation comes up, I'm very open to it." If funding for a fifth season is a problem, we remind both Netflix and the show's creative team that there's always money in the banana stand. [Entertainment Weekly]

3. CBS renews Under the Dome for a second season
Eager to see if the protagonists of CBS's sci-fi drama Under the Dome will actually make it out of the dome? Thanks to the show's recent renewal, we now have an approximate answer: Not until at least 13 more episodes have aired next year. "Why can't they be under the dome for a long period of time?" said CBS chief executive Les Moonves in response to a skeptical critic, thereby missing the obvious answer: Because that sounds really, really boring. [The New York Times]

4. Tara Reid says she wasn't cut from the Sharknado sequel
As far as career lows go, being cut from the Sharknado sequel is about as bad as it gets. So it's no surprise that Tara Reid has taken to Twitter to rebut recent reports that her character has been cut from the in-the-works sequel to the buzzy SyFy original movie. "There is no script for sharknado 2 until i read it then i will make a decision," tweeted Reid. "Everyone that is saying i got cut that is not true." So stop making up all those Great White lies, gossip columnists. [Fox News]

5. There were mermaids at Selena Gomez's 21st birthday party
If you somehow didn't make the guest list, never fear: E! Online has helpfully compiled a list of all the things you missed at Selena Gomez's swanky 21st birthday bash on Saturday. According to a source, the party included belly dancers, tarot card readers, henna artists, and a contortionist, along with "mermaids swimming in a pool," which may or may not have been real. The party was reportedly capped with a three-tiered chocolate cake covered in jewels, which sounds as beautiful as it does inedible. [E! Online]