1. Justin Bieber is in trouble for tattooing without a license
In recent weeks, teenage pop star Justin Bieber has shown that he's not interested in playing by the "rules" and "regulations" that govern the rest of us mere mortals. But his last act of rebellion might cost him up to $2000. Last June, the Biebs tattooed a friend in New York City despite not having a license, which violates the standards of the city's health department. The Daily News reports that the tattoo in questions depicts a muscular cartoon mouse next to the word "swaggy," so at least Bieber's sacrifice resulted in a true work of art.

2. Even James Franco has a crush on Ryan Gosling
On Thursday, James Franco used his standing invitation to write about whatever he feels like at The Huffington Post to reveal that he, like the rest of America, has fallen in love with Ryan Gosling. In a review of The Place Beyond the Pines titled "Burning for Gosling," Franco praised the film for Gosling's "toned six-pack" and its "beautiful Gosling brooding," while occasionally finding space to make references to the actual movie. "I mean, come on giiiiiiirl," says Franco, proving that, occasionally, celebrities really are like us.

3. All your favorite actors are in Crimson Peak
When Guillermo del Toro started planning his upcoming gothic horror movie Crimson Peak, he seems to have had a singular goal in mind: Get every actor that everyone loves to be in it. According to The Hollywood Reporter, del Toro just cast Zero Dark Thirty's Jessica Chastain to star alongside Easy A's Emma Stone and Sherlock's Benedict Cumberbatch. Given the way the project is shaping up, we can probably expect Ryan Gosling and Jennifer Lawrence to be cast any day now. 

4. Mike Tyson has a gross cameo in Scary Movie 5
Just when you thought Scary Movie 5 couldn't get any lazier, the filmmakers have somehow found room for an even lamer cameo. According to the New York Post, Mike Tyson will appear in a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey, uttering the soon to be immortal line, "Thanks for working on my prostate like it was a speed bag" to co-star Jerry O'Connell. Filmgoers can find out which other tired, dated cultural references appear in the film when it hits theaters next week. (We're betting on "Gangnam Style.") 

5. Prince William was snubbed by a little Scottish girl
In a distinctly non-fairy tale ending to this gossip column, a little Scottish girl recently rejected a kiss on the cheek from Prince William during a tour of the country. According to TMZ, the girl "recoiled in horror" as the prince leaned in to kiss her on the cheek — either out of respect for his wife Kate Middleton, or out of the general understanding that cooties are gross.