1. Humans yelling like goats
Remember goats yelling like humans? Of course you do! Here, in a prime example of the internet eating its own tail, is a video of humans yelling like goats that yell like humans. (Via Gawker)
2. "You got it dude!"
Instructions for use: Bookmark this website. Send to friends when you're feeling sassy. Reassure yourself that you are a functioning adult while you giggle alone.
3. A tiny dog wearing a glove (Via Imgur)
4. Everybody hates SimCity
It's been a long, fruitless decade since gamers last wielded the omnipotent Hand of Urban Sprawl. So naturally, gamers' expectations were sky-high for the new 2013 edition of SimCity, which ratings-aggregator Metacritic gave a respectable 76 out of 100. Unfortunately, SimCity's launch has been plagued by server problems, leaving eager gamers without anything to play. (Hence the comically low user score). Says The New York Times: "Releasing a video game that paying customers can't play is about as consumer-friendly as selling the next Jonathan Franzen novel exclusively on the moon." Yeouch. (Via Metacritic, The New York Times)
5. Celebrity jerks: Exposed!
Hope you have an hour to kill: This Reddit thread is filled with time-sucking celebrity-encounter stories, outing more than a handful of Hollywood's famous jerks. On the not-so-nice list? Keith Richards, Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved by the Bell), The Steelers' Ben Roethisberger, and Hugh Grant. Who's actually nice? Hugh Jackman, Tom Hanks, and — brace yourselves! — Kanye West. (Via Reddit)
6. The Olive Garden critic returns
Marilyn Hagerty, the octogenarian food critic for North Dakota's illustrious Grand Forks Herald, is all up in your Olive Garden again, brushing off nonsense and reviewing your breadsticks. She isn't nearly as generous this time around, either:
* She zings the salad: "The food is predictable, down to the four or five black olives you find in the salad bowl."
* And the penne di mare (shrimp and scallops in a seafood cream sauce): "The seafood was there, but a little hard to find. There was more pasta than I could eat."
* She liked dessert, though: "I selected the chocolate mousse cake — which was excellent. Not too sweet. Not too rich and topped with a thin layer of chocolate frosting."
* She admits the Grand Forks Olive Garden has come a long way: "No longer a novelty in Grand Forks, the Olive Garden has settled in. It is constantly surrounded by cars and fares well in a restaurant area where there are two new eating places — Noodles & Co. and the Erbert and Gerbert's. These also line up with McDonald's and long established Ground Round on the fringe of Columbia Mall."
(Via the Grand Forks Herald)
7. How old are the Disney princesses?
BuzzFeed, doing what it does best, tracked down (Wikipedia'd) the supposed ages of Disney's long line of princesses. The youngest? Snow White (14) and Princess Jasmine (15). Mulan, Sleeping Beauty, and Ariel are all 16. As for the oldest, Cinderella and Tiana from The Princess and the Frog are both 19. (Via BuzzFeed)
8. Cat of the Week
This week's winner is Oliver, a rather terrifying Cornish Rex from California. According to his owner, this is what he looks like when he yawns. "I think that he looks like he is laughing, but no one else seems to agree with me." Thanks, Jennifer!
Do you own a cat? Do you own a camera? Does your cat do funny things sometimes? Send your "Cat of the Week" submissions to Gayomali@TheWeek.com for a chance to be featured.