Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for the results of the previous contest: Accounting songs

Last week's question: Two Texas deer hunters were attacked by an apparently revenge-minded buck, which charged into them, chased them into their truck as they tried to flee, and ate their cigarettes. In the form of a succinct headline, please imagine the next instance of animal revenge on humankind.



THE WINNER: Coroner Finds Bread in Turkey Farmer’s Rectum
John Parry, Laurel, MD

SECOND PLACE: Reindeer Charge Santa $25 Per Carry-on Bag
Janine Witte, New Hope, PA

THIRD PLACE: Cat Uploads Embarrassing Video of Owner
Brendan Leyden, Lomita, CA


Lassie Lets Timmy Drown
Ken Kellam III, Dallas, TX

Bald Eagles Attack Congressmen
Paul Hlavac, Lake Bluff, IL

Whale Sinks Japanese Armada
Michael J. Steinhauer, Madison, WI

Cat on Diet Overturns, Raids Fridge
Stephanie Sarich, Minnetonka, MN

Irradiated Fly Pulls Arms Off Local Teen
Stephen Dudzik, Olney, MD

Dolphin Laughs as Blindfolded Trainer Unable to Find Beach Ball
Charles & Mary Parry, Catonsville, MD

Lemmings Lead U.S. Over Fiscal Cliff
Dallas Lea, Poughkeepsie, NY

Guerrilla Gorilla: Poacher Takes a Pounding
Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, WI

Elephant Squeezes Trainer into Trunk
Richard W. Lee, West lawn, PA

Squirrels Eat Hunter's Nuts
Bill Skeat, Athens, WV

Pigs Wrap Diners in a Blanket
Raj Salgia, Wheaton, IL

Mouse Elected Mayor of Orlando
Steve Fry, Bedford, NH

Sore Boar Gores Four
Raymond Smith, Lynn, MA

Chicken Refuses to Cross Road
Scott Seager, Kalispell, MT

Bass Kicks Ass in Lake Brawl
Ned Steadman, Brevard, NC

Duck Hunters Victims of Fowl Play
Jason Danielian, Homewood, IL

White House Parrot Tells All
Ivan Kerschner, Salem, SC

Two Children Trapped in Plastic Bag by Angry Goldfish
Michael Curran-Levett, Pacifica, CA

Snails Threaten Slowdown
Louis Phillips, New York, NY

Bambi Blasts Back
Dick Miller, Rochester, NY

Pigs Retaliate: Food Poisoning, Ineffective Antibiotics
Kristi Fredrickson, Salinas, CA

Raccoons Trash Davy Crockett Birthplace
Kenneth R. Updegrove, Cedaredge, CO

World's Tuna Pledge to Accumulate as Much Mercury as Possible; Taunt “Eat Us & See What Happens”
Tim Lanter, Alexandria, KY