Welcome to The Week's "What Next?" contest, an invitation to test your powers of imagination with challenges inspired by current events.

Click here for results of last week's contest: Snake Excuse

Results: In light of high fructose corn syrup petitioning to change its name to corn sugar, we asked you to predict the next questionable food item to change its moniker. You dished out:

FIRST PRIZE: Extra Virgin Pork Oil (formerly: lard)
Ann Myers, Omaha, NE
SECOND PLACE: Sun-Dried Sea Spice (formerly: salt)
Bill Harriot, Fort Washington, MD
THIRD PLACE: Barley Juice (formerly: beer)
Lee Humphreys, Ithaca, NY
Sarah White, Scarsdale, NY
Salt: Cubic Salconia 
Charles Gaston, Lancaster, PA
Mark Uhlig, Oakland Township, MI
Trans Fats: Alternative Lifestyle Lipids
Bill Dorner, Indianapolis

Trans Fats: Fats Without a Home
Victor Tanner, Waseca, MN
Trans Fat: Frisco
Richard Koretz, Kenwood, CA.
Anstray Atfay
Nancy Heyen, McCalla, AL
Monosodium Beauty-Mate
Les Ackland, Coraopolis, PA
Monosodium GladMate
Tim Hosman, Cambria, CA
MSG: Mom’s Special Garnish
Sallie Greene, San Francisco
Scrapple: Working Man’s Kobe Loaf
Robert E Mattes Jr., Cherry Hill, NJ
Soy Milk: Legume Cider
Eric Sibelius, Durango, CO
Margarine: Virtual Butter
Paula Hill, Fayetteville, AR

Butter: Sunshine Spread
Kristy Rimwood, Owings Mills, MD
Alcohol: Aged Sugar
William D. Boye, Gladstone, NJ
Big Mac: Appropriate Size Mac
Doug Roberts, Lawndale, CA

TV Dinners: Frozen Flat Screen Nutrition
Stephanie Storck, Lebanon, PA
Head Cheese: President Loaf!
Bob Fiato, Rensselaer, NY
Spotted Dick: Anything Else.
Jeffrey Contompasis, Ashburn, VA