July 2, 2014

Tim Howard is the most revered man in America after his record-setting performance Tuesday for the U.S. men's soccer team. Though the U.S. went down 2-1 against Belgium, Howard was so marvelous in defeat that Americans clamored to have his visage carved on Mt. Rushmore and stamped on coins. A federal petition seeking to rename Washington, D.C.'s airport in his honor is steadily gaining signatures.

So how good is Howard at making saves? According to a Twitter hashtag, Howard could have saved the dinosaurs from going extinct:

Howard is so good, he could have saved fictional characters like (Warning: spoilers) Mufasa…

Game of Thrones' Ned Stark...

And Bambi. (Though really, this one would make more sense were it Bambi's mother.)

Howard can stop bullets, a la The Matrix.

He could have saved swimmers from Jaws...

and kept Blockbuster from going belly up.

Howard could have saved Obi-Wan's master, Qui-Gon Jinn...

before warping through space and time to punch the Titanic away from that iceberg.

But perhaps the most practical Howard save of all: He could have kept Luis Suarez form biting Italy's Giorgio Chellini.

Chuck Norris, eat your heart out. Jon Terbush

9:49 a.m. ET

Donald Trump's spokesperson Katrina Pierson thinks that if House Speaker Paul Ryan can't get behind Trump as the Republican Party's presumptive nominee, then he shouldn't be speaker at all. Even if Ryan doesn't like Trump, Pierson said, he should at least align his actions with all his calls to "bring unity."

Pierson's comments came during a Friday morning interview with CNN's John Berman, who asked her whether Ryan is "still fit to be speaker" if he doesn't jump on the Trump train. "No, because this is about the party," Pierson said. On Thursday, Ryan declined to endorse Trump, saying he was "just not ready to do that at this point."

"We were told to hold our noses and vote for the sake of the party," Pierson said. "These same people are now telling us that because their guy didn't want to win, they want to hurt the party. If you can't hold yourself to the standard that you're holding everyone else, the problem is with you."

Watch Pierson's full takedown of Ryan here. Becca Stanek

9:14 a.m. ET
David McNew/Getty Images

Nearly half of likely Hillary Clinton voters say they are only supporting her to keep Donald Trump out of the White House — but before Trump backers start cackling, they ought to keep in mind that they're in the same boat. Nearly half of Trump supporters are only backing the Republican candidate in order to keep Clinton out of office.

The uninspiring situation was discovered in a new Reuters/Ipsos survey that claims many voters this election season are only going to the ballot boxes to keep the opposition out of the White House, rather than to get their candidate in. With Trump supporters, a whole 47 percent are voting just to keep Clinton out; by comparison, only 43 percent are voting for Trump because they like his political positions, and only 6 percent because they like Trump personally.

Among likely Clinton voters, 46 percent are voting for her just to keep Trump out of office, with 40 percent backing her because they like her politics and 11 percent because they like her personally.

The results come from likely voters who were interviewed online between April 29 and May 5, with the margin of error for Trump supporters being plus or minus 5.3 and for Clinton supporters, plus or minus 4.7. Jeva Lange

9:04 a.m. ET
Isaac Brekken/Getty Images

In an interview Friday with Fox & Friends, Donald Trump shut down Ben Carson's suggestion that he would consider a Democrat or an independent to join his presidential ticket. "I would rule him out. Or her out," the presumptive Republican nominee said, denying Carson's comment to The Wall Street Journal Thursday that they were considering people who "are Americans," rather than just Republicans.

"I want to have a great ticket," Trump said. "The Democrats have been in there a long time, the economy is terrible. The real unemployment rate is probably 20 percent. Jobs are leaving. Look at Carrier, look at so many companies. They're leaving."

Instead, Trump says, he is "going to pick a great Republican" to sail towards a "tremendous victory" with him. "We're going to win," he said.

Watch the exchange below. Becca Stanek

8:32 a.m. ET

U.S. employers added 160,000 jobs in April — fewer than expected — the Labor Department reported Friday. Economists had forecast a gain of 200,000 jobs. Analysts interpreted the number, the lowest in seven months, as an indication that slow first-quarter economic growth had sapped momentum from the nation's hiring binge. March's gains were revised down to 208,000 from 215,000 new non-farm jobs. The unemployment rate remained at 5 percent due to people dropping out of the labor force. Hourly wages rose by 0.3 percent, a bright spot in the report. Jeva Lange

8:01 a.m. ET
Mike Stone/Getty Images

Just a year after calling Donald Trump a "cancer on conservatism," former Texas Gov. Rick Perry threw his support behind the presumptive GOP nominee, who he now says is "one of the most talented people who has ever run for the president I have ever seen." "He is not a perfect man," Perry told CNN Thursday, explaining his endorsement. "But what I do believe is that he loves this country and he will surround himself with capable, experienced people and he will listen to them."

Perry, once a GOP presidential candidate himself, says he is willing to do anything it takes to get Trump elected, including serving as his vice president. "I am going to be open to any way I can help. I am not going to say no," Perry said. "We can't afford the policies and the character of Hillary Clinton."

Perry was previously a big critic of Trump's character when he was still in the running, and after he dropped out, he endorsed Sen. Ted Cruz and briefly considered the possibility of a third-party run. But, Perry contends, the people have spoken. "He wasn't my first choice, wasn't my second choice," Perry said, "but he is the people's choice." Becca Stanek

7:33 a.m. ET

Hollywood has a women problem — even besides the poor lack of representation in directorial roles, it is hard to find dynamic, complicated female characters on screen, much less in lead roles. Amy Schumer eviscerated the system on Inside Amy Schumer Thursday night with the help of real life Oscar-winners Julianne Moore and Jennifer Hudson as well as nominees Maggie Gyllenhaal and Laura Linney.

In the skit, Steve Buscemi introduces the award for Best Actress, where each woman has been nominated for a part in which she plays someone's wife bawling helplessly on the phone. As if that wasn't searing enough, Buscemi quips, "Without the five beautiful, talented women we're honoring now, their movies would only have five names on the poster, instead of six."

The worst part, though? While the fake movies are clearly jokes, the roles for women seem depressingly realistic. Watch below. Jeva Lange

7:04 a.m. ET

Donald Trump told a crowd of 12,000 people in Charleston, West Virginia, on Thursday night that he is disappointed the Republican primary is over, because "it's no fun this way." His campaign had invited hundreds of coal miners to stand behind him for his first rally as presumptive Republican nominee, and Trump touted an endorsement from the West Virginia Coal Association, criticized Hillary Clinton for saying she wants to phase out coal energy, and said, "We need to put our miners back to work!" He then put on a mining helmet the coal association had given him, fussed with his hair, and went on an extended riff about hair spray.

"You know, you're not allowed to use hair spray any more because it affects the ozone — you know that, right?" Trump said. "Hair spray is not like it used to be. It used to be real good ... In the old days, when you put on the hair spray on, it was good. Today you put the hair spray on, it's good for 12 minutes, right? ... So I said, 'If I take hairspray, and I spray it in my apartment — which is all sealed — and you're telling me that affects the ozone layer? Yes. I say, no way, folks." (Unless he buys his hair spray from a developing country, he's right — ozone-depleting CFC aerosol sprays were banned in the U.S. during the Reagan administration.)

Trump didn't just go after Clinton on coal. He said the Clinton Foundation is "disgusting," talked about the FBI investigation into her emails, and in criticizing NAFTA and other trade deals signed by Bill Clinton, alluded to Bill Clinton's extramarital dalliances. "The Clinton administration, of which Hillary was definitely a part — she was a part of almost everything. Almost, I say, not everything. Almost," Trump said, pausing for comic effect. Then he pretended to scold the crowd's dirty minds: "Terrible. I didn’t think the people of West Virginia thought about that. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Terrible, terrible people." Peter Weber

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