FOLLOW THE WEEK ON FACEBOOK
The Fate of Civilization
March 27, 2014

If the people of Denmark don't start having sex with each other, it's going to evolve into a problem that not even Dr. Ruth can fix. The country's current birthrate is 10 per 1,000 residents in 2013 — a 27-year low for a country that's regularly named one of the happiest in the world. That startling stat has left Danes worrying that their country could eventually become extinct.

Noting the recent news, Spies Travel came up with a new ad campaign encouraging Danes to go on holiday, where they're (allegedly) 46 percent more likely to get frisky. The two-minute ad shows a gorgeous couple enjoying a sexcapade... for their country.

"So to help the falling Danish birth rate, Spies Travel wants to encourage all Danes to take a romantic city holiday," the voiceover says. "After all, it will also help our future business. But if doing it for Denmark isn't enough, we made a little competition."

The competition is simple enough: Book while you're ovulating, conceive said child, prove it that you had sex while on the vacation and you get a three-year supply of baby items. No pressure!

Watch the sexy video for and feel... inspired. --Jordan Valinsky

sports
8:42 p.m. ET
Elsa/Getty Images

Wednesday in Minnesota, the National Football League Players Association filed a lawsuit against the NFL on behalf of Tom Brady  to vacate his suspension.

The New England Patriots quarterback was suspended for four games May 11 after a report maintained that while he did not improperly handle deflated balls used in the AFC Championship game won by the Patriots 45-7, he "at least" was "generally aware" of the alleged involvement of Patriots staff. On Tuesday, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall upheld the suspension, and the NFLPA said it would file an appeal.

The suit claims that Brady's punishment was not fair and consistent, and the appeal hearing "defied any concept of fundamental fairness," NFL.com reports. It also alleges that Goodell was partial in his decision to uphold the suspension. Catherine Garcia

Oh Florida
7:56 p.m. ET

On Wednesday, the Florida state chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations sued a gun store that declared itself a "Muslim-free zone."

In a complaint filed in federal court, CAIR accuses Florida Gun Supply of Inverness with violating the federal public accommodations law and seeks an injunction to stop the discrimination, Reuters reports. "We just can't let segregation rear its ugly head in Florida again," Hassan Shibly, chief executive director of the group, said. "This is part of Islamophobia that we need to challenge."

On July 18, the store's owner, 28-year-old Andrew Hallinan, posted on Facebook a video stating that the shop was a Muslim-free zone because of the shootings at military sites in Chattanooga, Tennessee. After the post went up, Hallinan invited Shibly to attend a course at Florida Gun Supply of Inverness and then explain the Koran to him, but Shibly said Hallinan later canceled the meeting. Hallinan's attorney, Robert Muise, says the lawsuit is "absolutely bogus." Catherine Garcia

bad customer service
7:04 p.m. ET

A 911 dispatcher has resigned following the release of a recording where he was heard telling a caller whose friend was shot she could "deal with it yourself."

On June 26, Esperanza Quintero, 17, called 911 in Albuquerque after her friend, Jaydon Chavez-Silver, 17, was shot at a party during a drive-by shooting. ABC News reports that on the tape, dispatcher Matthew Sanchez is heard asking Quintero multiple times if Chavez-Silver was breathing. Quintero said she was "frustrated" with being asked the question multiple times, and said, "He's barely breathing? How many times do I have to f—ing tell you?" Sanchez replied, "OK, you know what ma'am? You could deal with it yourself. I'm not going to deal with this, OK?" and then hung up.

A spokeswoman for the Albuquerque Fire Department told ABC News that "the dispatcher did dispatch units prior to disconnect" and "the response time was four minutes and 26 seconds, which exceeds national standards." Sanchez was removed from the dispatch center and placed on administrative assignment before resigning, but that's not enough for Quintero. "It was his job," she told KOAT. "I don't understand why he would've hung up. I cussed at him once. I was frantic, I was scared. You know, I'm only 17. ... He didn't talk me through it. Obviously, helping people is not for him."

Chavez-Silver died at the hospital, and no suspects have been arrested yet in connection with the shooting. Catherine Garcia

This just in
3:32 p.m. ET
Yannick Pitou/AFP/Getty Images

Officials are investigating plane debris that washed ashore on Réunion Island, in the Indian Ocean, for any possibility that the piece might be linked to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, which went missing sixteen months ago en route from Kuala Lampur to Beijing.

"It is not possible at this time to ascertain whether the part is from a [Boeing 777] or from MH370," a French accident investigation agency said, although officials have confirmed that the piece, which appears to be from a wing, is not from a "small plane." Malaysia has sent a team to verify if the debris is indeed from Flight 370, Transport Minister Liow Tiong Lai announced during a press conference.

The debris could not be linked to other aviation accidents in the region, either, The Wall Street Journal reports, and while Réunion lies outside of the search zone for the missing flight, aviation consultants believe it's possible that debris from the missing plane could have washed up there. Jeva Lange

Mirror mirror on the wall
2:29 p.m. ET
Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images

Because everyone was just clamoring to know who's hot and who's not on Capitol Hill, D.C. publication The Hill did us all a favor with its annual release of "The Hill's 50 Most Beautiful" list. Both Michelle and Barack Obama made the list — with Michelle beating Barack — alongside a slew of press assistants, political journalists, congressmen, and lobbyists.

According to The Hill, this year there was a "record-breaking number of nominations," meaning those who got nominated — or nominated themselves — truly must be the fairest of them all. Below, the 10 most groan-worthy moments and quotes from the profiles of The Hill's Most Beautiful Class of 2015. Becca Stanek

10. "Pulling out six lipsticks from her clutch bag, Sophia Anwar proudly proclaims herself to be an 'assertive girly girl' and boasts that she can do her makeup during her commute."

9. "He switches between a pair of brown or black boots almost every day on Capitol Hill."

8. "Gindlesperger is passionate about style, accessorizing his outfits with tiny details such as vintage lapel pins, eyewear, and sneakers from his collection of more than 50 pairs."

7. "She likes Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's clothing line, but considers them 'impractical' for Capitol Hill, opting for fashion brand Zara instead."

6. "'It's like driving down an open road really fast with your arm out the window,' Bolden said of skydiving."

5. "You can't tell, but the dress Chris Jansing is wearing is reversible."

4. "When he's not producing Washington Watch with Tony Perkins for the Family Research Council, Jennings likes to golf, read American history, and help out at Triumph D.C., a church in the city's Southeast."

3. "A self-described news junkie who 'loves words,' Sacks once adapted John Milton's Paradise Lost into a screenplay. 'I love rock 'n' roll, reading and the Supreme Court.'"

2. "He's served four tours in Iraq, hosted a TV show, and earned degrees from Harvard, but Seth Moulton insists he's a 'boat shoes, no socks' kind of guy."

1. "Mike Sacks is just your average National Law Journal congressional correspondent who digs air guitar competitions, epic poems, and yoga pose attempts."

This just in
2:02 p.m. ET
AP Photo/John Minchillo

A white University of Cincinnati police officer has been indicted on murder charges for allegedly fatally shooting Samuel DuBose in the head during a traffic stop near campus on July 19. Officer Ray Tensing "purposely killed" DuBose, 43, who was black, after "losing his temper," according to county prosecutor Joe Deters. DuBose, who was a father of 10, had been driving without a front license plate when he was pulled over.

"[Tensing] never should have been a police officer," Deters said, adding that after seeing the body camera video footage of the shooting, "I realize[d] what this was going to mean to our community, and it really broke my heart because it's just so bad." Tensing could face life in prison if convicted. Jeva Lange

love in 2015
1:35 p.m. ET
Ian Gavan/Getty Images

Throwing themselves into the running for the title of "Most Hipster Couple of All Time" are actress Michelle Williams and author Jonathan Safran Foer, who are, apparently, dating now. Williams — who had a child with former beau Heath Ledger, and then dated David Foster Wallace-lookalike Jason Segel — appears to be "finally at peace and genuinely happy" with Foer, according to a source that spilled the beans to Us Weekly.

Foer, who is known for his novels Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and Everything is Illuminated, has two children with his ex-wife, the bestselling author Nicole Krauss, to whom he was married for 10 years. Foer once told The Guardian that the best kiss of his life was "the first date with my wife, beneath a costume shop awning, in the rain." It will remain to be seen if he and Williams can top that level of twee. Jeva Lange

See More Speed Reads