Diagnosing Die Hard's craziest injuries: A professional weighs in

In reality, John McClane should have finished the film as a quadriplegic with bowel and bladder dysfunction

Die Hard
(Image credit: (Facebook.com/DieHard))

If you enjoy the holidays but cringe at the do-goodiness of sappy Christmas classics like It's a Wonderful Life, you should immediately add Die Hard to your annual viewing repertoire. The 1988 action thriller opens on Christmas Eve (Run DMC's "Christmas in Hollis" plays in the background), as hardened New York City cop John McClane (Bruce Willis) travels to Los Angeles to visit his kids and estranged wife, Holly (Bonnie Bedelia), who moved across the country for a job. Except instead of a romantic reconciliation at Holly's office holiday party, McClane finds himself in the middle of a deadly terrorist hostage situation.

To save the day, McClane single-handedly picks off half a dozen vaguely Eastern European terrorists led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), engaging in several glass-crunching, blood-spattering, blow-heavy, bullet-riddled fight sequences. The muscle-bound, machine-gun-toting terrorists die spectacularly. The barefoot McClane somehow limps away at the end.

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Lauren Hansen

Lauren Hansen produces The Week’s podcasts and videos and edits the photo blog, Captured. She also manages the production of the magazine's iPad app. A graduate of Kenyon College and Northwestern University, she previously worked at the BBC and Frontline. She knows a thing or two about pretty pictures and cute puppies, both of which she tweets about @mylaurenhansen.