These are the dumbest crimes of 2014

A joke in poor taste

Nathan Channing, of Fruitvale, Colorado, reportedly approached a patrol car around Thanksgiving and pointed a banana, pretending it was a gun, at the two sheriff's officers inside. One officer ducked while the other began to draw his own handgun before the Fruitvale man screamed, "It's a banana!" In his defense, Channing claimed he was a comedian making a stunt video. The 27-year-old jokester was arrested on suspicion of felony menacing and faces up to three years in jail and a $100,000 fine. [New York Daily News]

Caught empty-handed

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In November, a 29-year-old man reportedly punched a Kansas convenience store employee and stole the bank bag he was carrying. But the alleged thief didn't get far before realizing the bag was filled with keys instead of stacks of cash. Oddly, the man returned to the scene of the crime, where police were on hand investigating. He was arrested on suspicion of robbery and drug possession. [The Wichita Eagle]

Bar or bars

Late one October night, a 39-year-old woman backed her car into the parking lot of a local Michigan bar, where she went to pick up her boyfriend. Except what she thought was a watering hole turned out to be a jail. Police officers noticed the woman appeared intoxicated, gave her a breathalyzer test, and arrested her on charges of drunk driving. [Associated Press]

Wrong number

In September, a Tennessee man butt-dialed 911. Unbeknownst to the 25-year-old, a dispatcher reportedly stayed on the line and overheard the caller talking about "pleasure shivers" and "tiny little pins" in his body. After the dispatcher traced the call to a Mexican restaurant, a responding officer noticed a car with a broken tail light leaving the parking lot and pulled the driver over. Inside, the police reported seeing a small bag of marijuana and drug paraphernalia and arrested the alleged butt-dialer. [New York Daily News]

Shameful selfie

On July 11, a clothing and jewelry boutique in southern Illinois realized that some of its stock was missing, including a colorful, leopard-print dress. The store's co-owners turned to Facebook for help, posting about the stolen items. A keen-eyed Facebook friend noticed that a woman had been posting photos of herself wearing the distinct dress on her own page. The amateur detective made the connection and helped police identify the woman who was arrested on misdemeanor retail theft charges. [Associated Press]

A careless complaint

On April 3, a woman reportedly called 911 dispatchers at the Lufkin Police Department in Texas to complain about a batch of "bad weed" that her dealer wouldn't refund. When responding officers questioned the woman, she turned over a small bag of marijuana. The suspect was arrested, booked, and posted bail the same day. [Fox8]

Employee of the month

In February, ski mask-wearing Andre Puskas reportedly entered a Florida Radio Shack intending to rob it. When an employee tried to run away, Puskas allegedly pulled out a Taser and tried to subdue her. Instead, he accidentally shocked himself with the weapon and fled the store, tossing his mask on the way out. Hours later, Puskas returned to the same Radio Shack to begin his afternoon shift. Confronted by police, the 20-year-old Radio Shack employee reportedly admitted to his crime and was arrested on charges of attempted robbery with a weapon. [Tampa Bay Times]