The extraordinary power of faking it
As Kurt Vonnegut said, "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be"
You like confidence. In fact, most of us have such a bias toward confidence we prefer it over actual expertise.
Speaking first, speaking confidently, and speaking often make you sound like a leader, and the people who do that usually end up as the leader — even if they don't know what they're talking about:
Via The Invisible Gorilla: How Our Intuitions Deceive Us:
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It's even more shallow than that: Doctors who wear the white coat are trusted more than doctors who don't.
But what's fascinating is an increasing amount of research is showing that acting a certain way can bring you closer to actually being what you aspire to. Faking it might help you make it.
How can faking it help you make it?
People prefer doctors who wear the white coat — but research also shows that wearing the white coat might make you a better doctor too.
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Watching The Avengers might make you more heroic. And if you feel a connection to the Dark Knight, seeing Batman can make you physically stronger.
Sound crazy? Recent research in the area of embodied cognition confirms you can improve how you think and behave by changing how you sit, stand, and move.
Harvard professor Amy Cuddy explains her research on the subject in this TED talk:
To a degree, we may all be method actors — like it or not.
In fact, not faking it can be a problem. Not acting confident and friendly in social situations can create a downward spiral where you make others think you don't like them. Can you operate in society without faking?
But do you want to be a faker?
There is a danger when faking. You can be caught. And if you're not, successful faking can be a double-edged sword. Do you really wish to be who you are pretending to be?
As Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote in The Scarlet Letter:
But, to counter, the main theme of Don Quixote was: If you want to be a knight, act like a knight.
How can you reconcile this? Can you fake it and be honest? Yes.
Think about the best possible version of yourself and move toward that.
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