4 powerful things con men can teach you about persuasion

I wasn't a Pan Am pilot or any other kind of pilot. I was an impostor, one of the most wanted criminals on four continents, and at the moment I was doing my thing, putting a super hype on some nice people. I was a millionaire twice over and half again before I was twenty-one. I stole every nickel of it and blew the bulk of the bundle on fine threads, gourmet foods, luxurious lodgings, fantastic foxes, fine wheels, and other sensual goodies. I partied in every capital in Europe, basked on all the famous beaches, and good-timed it in South America, the South Seas, the Orient and the more palatable portions of Africa. [Catch Me If You Can]

It is not intelligence but integrity which determines whether or not a man is a good mark. [The Big Con: The Story of the Confidence Man]

Stupid or "lop-eared" marks are often played; they are too dull to see their own advantage, and must be worked up to the point again and again before a ray of light filters through their thick heads. Sometimes they are difficult or impossible to beat. Always they merit the scorn and contempt of the con men. [The Big Con: The Story of the Confidence Man]

Probably not one skill exists that can be as encompassing as listening. Listening is a major part of being a social engineer. [Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking]

The idea is to really listen to what the other side is saying and feed it back to them.

I couldn't say what you must have to be a good roper, but I can tell you some of the traits you better not have. Never permit yourself to be bored. If you gander around you will always find some mark you can trim. But some heel-grifters think it is smartly sophisticated to appear languid or condescendingly wise. That is really stupid. Tie into any mark. He may have it in the jug… Never interrupt a fink while he is talking. Be a good listener and he will immediately conclude that you are a young man of some note. [The Big Con: The Story of the Confidence Man]

I promptly put the giant jet on automatic pilot and hoped to hell the gadget worked, because I couldn't fly a kite. [Catch Me If You Can]

Top con artists, whether they're pushing hot paper or hawking phony oil leases, are well dressed and exude an air of confidence and authority. They're usually as charming, courteous, and seemingly sincere as a politician seeking reelection, although they can, at times, effect the cool arrogance of a tycoon. [Catch Me If You Can]

The only difference was that I had given him a business card. Granted, my business card is not the $9.99 special from an online card printer, but I was amazed that what seemed to have happened was that a business card added a sense of license to my claims. [Social Engineering: The Art of Human Hacking]

What if I were a pilot? Not an actual pilot, of course. I had no heart for the grueling years of study, training, flight schooling, work, and other mundane toils that fit a man for a jet liner's cockpit. But what if I had the uniform and the trappings of an airline pilot? Why, I thought, I could walk into any hotel, bank, or business in the country and cash a check. Airline pilots are men to be admired and respected. Men to be trusted. Men of means. And you don't expect an airline pilot to be a local resident. Or a check swindler. [Catch Me If You Can]

Success in negotiation is strongly correlated with time spent preparing.

The third factor is research, the big difference between the hard-nosed criminal and the super con man. A hood planning a bank holdup might case the treasury for rudimentary facts, but in the end he depends on his gun. A con artist's only weapon is his brain. A con man who decides to hit the same bank with a fictitious check or a sophisticated check swindle researches every facet of the caper. In my heyday as a hawker of hot paper, I knew as much about checks as any teller employed in any bank in the world and more than the majority. I'm not even sure a great many bankers possessed the knowledge I had of checks. [Catch Me If You Can]

In the past I'd found my best sources of information on airlines were airlines themselves, so I started calling the various carriers and pumping their people for information… A lot of the things I felt I ought to know, however, were not in the books or magazines I read. So I got back on the pipe with Pan Am. "I'd like to speak to a pilot, please," I told the switchboard operator. "I'm a reporter for my high school newspaper, and I'd like to do a story on pilots' lives— you know, where they fly, how they're trained, and that sort of stuff. Do you think a pilot would talk to me?" [Catch Me If You Can]