My girlfriend is a drunk. Help!

Starshine Roshell weighs in on this and other quandaries

Starshine Roshell
(Image credit: Jackie Sallow Photography)

Dear Starshine,

I've been with my girlfriend for four years. She has a drinking problem. Over the years, she has reduced her alcohol intake. But lately she's drinking more. I drink two or three times a year. We fight a lot about alcohol because when she drinks, she gets aggressive, and I've become increasingly impatient about these drunken confrontations. I asked her to stop drinking around me for awhile so we could get along better. She grudgingly agreed, adding a smart-ass quip about how "we might not see each other that much if I can't drink around you." I got invited to a friend's wedding and asked her to join me, reminding her of our deal — but she argued that she can drink if she wants to. I said that if she can't spend one day with me and not drink, I don't want to continue the relationship. She said I shouldn't be so controlling. Am I being unreasonable or unfair? What should I do? I really want her to be more responsible, and show me that she is in control of herself (so that I can propose and start a dang family already!), but she seems to still want to party.

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