Absurd finding of the day: 'Men who don't do chores have a lot of sex'

Today in cringe-worthy studies: Researchers in Spain report that married men who spend more time helping out with chores like cooking, cleaning, and getting groceries have less sex than husbands who don't do as much housework.

"Our findings suggest the importance of socialized gender roles for sexual frequency in heterosexual marriage," says lead author Sabino Kornrich, a junior researcher at the Center for Advanced Studies at the Juan March Institute in Madrid. "Couples in which men participate more in housework typically done by women report having sex less frequently."

He continues: "Similarly, couples in which men participate more in traditionally masculine tasks — such as yard work, paying bills, and auto maintenance — report higher sexual frequency."

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So... men who reinforce tired gender roles supposedly get laid more often — even though researchers also found that wives were (unsurprisingly) happier when their husbands did help out.

"Men who refuse to help around the house could increase conflict in their marriage and lower their wives' marital satisfaction," Kornrich said. "Earlier research has found that women's marital satisfaction is indeed linked to men's participation in overall household labor, which encompasses tasks traditionally done by both men and women."

The apparent lesson: Guys, if you want to have more sex, keep yourself firmly planted on the sofa while your better half sweats over dinner. The downside of this is that she will hate you for the remainder of your loveless marriage.