The week's best of the internet

1. The Coachella lineup came out

Thousands of amateur music critics pontificated into the void late Thursday night, when the country's largest music festival announced this year's lineup of performers. Headliners include Blur, The Stone Roses, Phoenix, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And The Postal Service, that band everyone adored 10 years ago, is reuniting too. What do you think? (Via Coachella)

2. A horrifying Katy Perry/Paula Deen face-mash

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What happens when you place the "Firework" singer's face over Paula Deen's head? The honest truth: Not much. (Via Lobshots.com)

3. Lennay Kekua's creepy voicemails

These are the purported voicemails from one Lennay Kekua — the fictional girlfriend of embarrassed Notre Dame football star Manti Te'o. The source of the voice is reported to be the cousin of Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, the alleged mastermind of the hoax. Te'o sat down with Katie Couric this week for an interview. (Via Soundcloud)

4. Questlove dreams of sushi

The Roots member with the best hair went full-on foodie this week, Instagramming his mealtime adventures at Sukiyabashi Jiro, the legendary sushi restaurant in Tokyo. The establishment belongs to Jiro Ono, who is widely considered to be the world's foremost raw fish expert and was the star of the critically adored documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi. (Via Grubstreet, Instagram)

5. Absurdist Tumblr of the week: Famous Movie Quotes Online

It's Weird Twitter meets Criterion Corner meets your little brother's best friend's Facebook account. (Via Tumblr)

6. Puppy Bowl IX starting lineup announced

The starters for the doggie world's version of the Big Game are in. Here's what we're predicting...

Final score: N/A because they don't keep score

First touchdown: Agatha, the 9-week-old miniature pinscher

MVP: Daisy, the 12-week-old Yorkshire terrier

Here are some highlights from last year:

7. Hillary Clinton flips a switch

The secretary of state "lit up" Sen. Ron Johnson of Wisconsin during a hearing on the terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya. (Watch the whole thing here.) A few blogs broke down Clinton's sassier moments in GIF form. (Via Feministing)

8. Cat of the Week

Think your furball has what it takes to earn our coveted Cat of the Week award? Send a picture to Gayomali@theweek.com. (Via Imgur)