It's safe to say that the Golden Globes — which will air on NBC tonight at 8 p.m. EST — don't generally garner the breathless, serious-minded analysis that characterizes next month's Academy Awards. But in recent years, the ceremony has turned its loose, boozy informality into a strength, and this year's brilliant decision to bring on Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as co-hosts — seriously, are there any two people more beloved in Hollywood right now? — has made tonight's 70th annual ceremony the most anticipated Golden Globes telecast in ages.
Tonight, The Week will be here to chronicle the evening's highlights, starting with red carpet coverage at roughly 7:30 p.m., and continuing until the end of the show. Refresh this page for the latest updates, analysis, and humor, and tweet @TheWeek and @ScottMeslow to join the conversation as it's happening.
Now that all of the offical Golden Globes have been awarded, I've teamed up with audience development manager Jess Hullinger to award a few special Golden Globes of our own:
Best dressed: Tina Fey
In her opening monologue, Tina Fey called The Hunger Games "the six weeks it took me to get into this dress." But based on the overwhelming positive Twitter reaction to her dress, Fey, like Katniss Everdeen, emerged from the Hunger Games victorious.
Worst dressed: Lucy Liu
The Elementary star's big, floral-patterned frock earned some of the worst reviews of the night, drawing a number of comparisons to drapes and curtains.
Buzziest moment: Jodie Foster's acceptance speech
As this year's recipient of the annual Cecil B. DeMille Award, Jodie Foster used her platform to talk about... well, a lot of things. After leading with a fake-out in which she teased the possibility that she'd publicly confirm her homosexuality, she triumphantly declared that she was single, before segueing into a discussion of the beauty of privacy. During the rest of her extended, scattershot speech, Foster thanked her family, her decades of costars, and Mel Gibson. It was weird, it was moving, it was memorable, and it will surely be much discussed in the Golden Globe watercooler chatter tomorrow.
Biggest surprise: Bill Clinton shows up to introduce Lincoln
"Ladies and gentlemen, the 42nd president of the United States... Bill Clinton!" For reasons that were never adequately explained, Steven Spielberg's Lincoln got a big boost (and the first standing ovation of the night) when the former president appeared to introduce a clip of the film's highlights.
Best joke: Amy Poehler on Bill Clinton
As the audience recovered from the shock of Clinton's appearance, Amy Poehler brought everyone back to Earth by channeling her character, Leslie Knope, from NBC's Parks & Recreation: "What an exciting special guest. That was Hillary Clinton's husband!"
Best meme: Tommy Lee Jones is the human Grumpy Cat
As Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig rambled through an interminable bit about the films nominated for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy, the camera settled on Tommy Lee Jones, who was wearing an unimpressed grimace that recalled internet favorite Grumpy Cat. Check it out here.
11:02 p.m.: That's a wrap! Thanks for following along, and don't forget to check back in at The Week as awards season continues.
11:01 p.m.: Amy Poehler: "We're going home with Jodie Foster!"
11:00 p.m.: Fun fact: Argo, which is not considered a favorite for Best Picture at the Academy Awards next month, is actually the best-reviewed wide release movie of 2012.
10:58 p.m.: Surprise! Argo wins Best Drama.
10:54 p.m.: I don't know about you guys, but I'm really craving some Diet Pepsi right now.
10:52 p.m.: Fun fact: Daniel Day-Lewis originally turned down the lead role in Lincoln by sending the classiest rejection letter ever written to Steven Spielberg. Read it here.
10:50 p.m.: Daniel Day-Lewis wins Best Actor in a Drama for Lincoln.
10:48 p.m.: Jessica Chastain wins Best Actress in a Drama for Zero Dark Thirty.
10:42 p.m.: Why does a film with a title that literally means "the miserables" get to compete against comedies?
10:41 p.m.: Apparently one speech wasn't enough for Anne Hathaway.
10:40 p.m.: Les Miserables wins Best Motion Picture for Comedy or Musical.
10:38 p.m.: Jeremy Renner gets bleeped by NBC for saying... something. My money is on "shitty."
10:33 p.m.: Tom Hooper: The latest director to undeservingly be called "visionary." (See also: Zack Snyder.)
10:31 p.m.: Hugh Jackman wins Best Actor in Comedy or Musical. This Les Miserables-hating critic says Bradley Cooper was robbed.
10:24 p.m.: Lena Dunham "promised she would thank Chad Lowe," for reasons probably best left unexplained.
10:22 p.m.: Best TV Comedy or Musical goes to Girls.
10:21 p.m.: Oh yeah, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are hosting this.
10:18 p.m.: Affleck compares Wes Anderson to Orson Welles, who was legendary for his sense of whimsy.
10:16 p.m.: Best Director goes to Ben Affleck for Argo, who isn't even nominated for an Academy Award.
10:12 p.m.: I suspect that Jodie Foster's speech will be analyzed and debated by scholars for centuries.
10:07 p.m.: Jodie Foster: "I am... single. [...] I already did my coming out in the Stone Age." Emphasizes the beauty of privacy.
10:06 p.m.: Jodie Foster: "It is the most fun party of the year, and tonight, I feel like the prom queen."
10:02 p.m.: Jodie Foster takes the stage to accept an extremely deserved honorary Cecille B. DeMille Award, which is awarded annually to a person who has made "outstanding contributions to the world of entertainment." Other recent winners include Morgan Freeman, Robert De Niro, and Martin Scorsese.
9:58 p.m.: "Getting sloppy in here, everybody." Fake drunk Tina Fey to real drunk celebrities.
9:53 p.m.: Lena Dunham calls Judd Apatow an "honorary girl."
9:52 p.m.: Best Actress in a TV Comedy goes to Lena Dunham for Girls. Shortly after Aziz Ansari called her "Lisa."
9:50 p.m.: Aziz Ansari is playing "irritating stoner" way too convincingly.
9:46 p.m.: Brave wins Best Animated Film.
9:45 p.m.: Sacha Baron Cohen's introduction to the Best Animated Film category is basically just him going "PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEE," complete with a creepy reference to "Anne Hathaway's upskirt shot."
9:39 p.m.: Is Claire Danes in character right now? This speech is making me more nervous than Homeland did all season.
9:38 p.m.: The sweep continues: Best Actress in a TV Drama goes to Claire Danes for Homeland.
9:35 p.m.: Best Foreign Language film goes to Amour. Or, as Schwarzenegger would have it, "Amooooooo."
9:31 p.m.: From the department of cross-promotion: If you're Golden Globed out, why not take a break and read my review of tonight's season two premiere of HBO's Girls?
9:27 p.m.: Best Actor in a TV Comedy or Musical goes to Don Cheadle for House of Lies, filling tonight's quota for great actors valiantly trying to elevate terrible TV shows.
9:26 p.m.: Fun fact: Quentin Tarantino's last (and only other) Golden Globe win was for the Pulp Fiction screenplay in 1995.
9:23 p.m.: Best Screenplay goes to Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained.
9:18 p.m.: NBC airs the Sofia Vergara Diet Pepsi commercial for the 27th time tonight.
9:16 p.m.: Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture goes to Anne Hathaway. She's doing a pretty good job pretending to be surprised.
9:14 p.m.: Jamie Foxx introduces the Django Unchained clip. What, they couldn't get Abraham Lincoln?
9:12 p.m: Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series, Miniseries, or Made-For-TV Movie goes to Ed Harris for Game Change.
9:06 p.m.: Best Actress in Musical or Comedy goes to Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook.
9:05 p.m.: Tommy Lee Jones is as impressed by this Will Ferrell/Kristen Wiig bit as I am.
9:00 p.m.: Amy Poehler: "What an exciting special guest. That was Hillary Clinton's husband!"
8:58 p.m.: Bill Clinton, who is inexplicably there, gets the first standing ovation of the night.
8:57 p.m.: If my Twitter feed is any indication, there are a lot of angry Sherlock fans right now.
8:56 p.m.: Best Actor in Miniseries or Made-for-TV movie goes to Kevin Costner for Hatfields & McCoys.
8:54 p.m.: "One shot's all we need," says the commercial for a completely retooled second season of Smash.
8:51 p.m.: If you forgot how incredible it is, take the time to listen to "Skyfall" now:
8:48 p.m.: Best Original Song goes to Adele for "Skyfall."
8:44 p.m.: Best Original Score goes to Mychael Danna for Life of Pi.
8:42 p.m.: Dead-on warning from our friends at TV Guide:
8:37 p.m.: In case you forgot, a friendly reminder that The Newsroom was nominated for Best Drama, and Mad Men wasn't. Adjust your rage meter accordingly.
8:35 p.m.: Best TV Drama goes to Showtime's Homeland.
8:32 p.m: Damian Lewis wins Best Actor in a TV Drama for Homeland. If you've never seen him outside of Homeland, surprise! He's British.
8:29 p.m.: HFPA president absolutely killed with her "I'm going to die/Call Me Maybe, Bradley Cooper" routine.
8:23 p.m.: "Dooooo you hear the people siiiiing?" Catherine Zeta-Jones's extremely belated, extremely unconvincing audition for Les Miserables.
8:21 p.m.: You betcha: Best Performance by Actress in Miniseries or Made-For-TV movie goes to Julianne Moore for Game Change.
8:19 p.m.: "With you and Tina Fey, we have three of the most amazing impersonations of Sarah Palin. I'm counting Sarah Palin's."
8:18 p.m.: Best Miniseries or Made-For-TV movie goes to HBO's Game Change.
8:17 p.m.: Poor Don Cheadle, getting introduced as the star of House of Lies.
8:15 p.m.: Amazing how quietly Christoph Waltz became a serious Best Supporting Actor contender. Last month he wasn't even mentioned in the same paragraph as Leo.
8:12 p.m.: Moving right along, Maggie Smith wins Best Supporting Actress in Series, Miniseries or Made-For-TV movie for Downton Abbey. Her failure to show up is the most withering comment of all.
8:08 p.m.: First award of the evening: Christoph Waltz wins Best Supporting Actor for Django Unchained.
8:06 p.m.: Just seeing Mandy Patinkin makes everything better.
8:04 p.m.: Tina Fey: "Quentin Tarantino is here, the star of all my sexual nightmares."
8:01 p.m.: Pills, Ricky Gervais, nudity in Girls... so there's all the obvious jokes out of the way.
8:00 p.m.: Here we go!
7:54 p.m.: Even Dustin Hoffman sounds bored when he describes the plot of Quartet.
7:44 p.m.: It's going to be an early night for anyone who had "brave role" in their Golden Globes drinking game.
7:41 p.m.: "More comedies, more Betty!" NBC, desperately pandering to the coveted "Betty White" demographic.
7:36 p.m.: "22 and a half minutes to go!" says Matt Lauer through gritted teeth.
7:34 p.m.: Adele says "many people have risen and fallen" after recording Bond themes. Lulu is out there somewhere, weeping.
7:30 p.m.: Welcome! I'm Scott Meslow, entertainment editor at TheWeek.com and your host for the evening. Before the ceremony starts, a few links worth checking out:
1. Read the full list of nominees at the official Golden Globes website.
2. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler offer an offbeat Golden Globes drinking game (sample rule: "Eat a meatball sandwich any time someone thanks Harvey Weinstein")
3. The Week's own Catherine Garcia counts down seven of the most cringe-inducing moments in Golden Globe History.