1. Selena Gomez digitally spurns Justin Bieber
Bieberwatch, day five: Selena Gomez has blocked ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber's calls and texts, reports TMZ. Sources report that the couple met on Sunday to discuss their breakup — allegedly sparked by Bieber's relationship with another woman, who may or may not have been a Victoria's Secret Model — but failed to reconcile, inspiring Gomez to "block Justin from [her] life." If only it was that easy for the rest of us.

2. Making a Lindsay Lohan movie "was a challenge," says Liz & Dick producer
In an announcement akin to confirming that water is wet, E! Online reports that producer Larry Thompson acknowledged "serious challenges" in making Liz & Dick, a biopic starring Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor. "We tried to insure ourselves against things that could and, in fact, did happen," said Thompson — presumably referring to the day of filming he lost in June when Lohan was in a car accident. Thompson says viewers will be impressed with Lohan if they focus on her performance and not her "antics" — admittedly tough, since she's an antics genius.

3. Daniel Craig is a former, unapologetic duck thief
Skyfall star Daniel Craig got some practical undercover experience long before he donned James Bond's tuxedo: He and an ex-girlfriend used to steal ducks from the supermarket. "I played decoy, and she got it up her shirt […] pretending she was pregnant," says Craig in an interview quoted at Hollywood.com. He did not elaborate on what they did with the duck.

4. Honey Boo Boo: The Comic Book is coming soon
Because no modern pop-culture phenomenon is complete until it's been milked down to the last wheezing udder, the New York Observer reports that a comic book based on the hit TLC series Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is on its way."You better redeneckomitize!" says a spokesperson at the comic's publishers Bluewater Productions. If you know what that means, you are likely the target audience.

5. Ben Affleck doesn't understand the Terrence Malick movie he starred in
Director Terrence Malick is legendary for making ponderous films that critics love, but at least one person didn't understand his reportedly impenetrable new film To the Wonder: Its star Ben Affleck. "My character doesn't really do that much," Affleck tells GQ. "You'd think 'who's more important in this — me or the tree?'" Anyone who's actually seen the film can confirm that the answer is clearly the tree.