Good week, Bad week

Good week for:

Inflation, after it was revealed that Medicare has spent $240 million over the last decade on penis pumps for recipients over 65 suffering from erectile dysfunction.

Tiger Woods, after he won the Chevron World Challenge by one shot, ending a losing streak that lasted since his extramarital affairs were exposed two years ago. “It just feels awesome,” Woods said, admitting he’d been “struggling a bit.”

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Changing teams, after Occupy Wall Street protester Tracy Postert was hired by a Wall Street firm. At the protest, she held up a sign saying, “Ph.D. Biomedical Scientist seeking full-time employment,” and was called in for an interview by a brokerage firm. She was hired as a junior analyst.

Bad week for:

Michele Bachmann, the fading GOP presidential candidate, after she vowed to close down the U.S. Embassy in Iran. The U.S. hasn’t had an embassy in Tehran since the 1980 hostage crisis.

Christmas magic, after a man dressed as Santa Claus attempted to rappel from the ceiling at a Florida mall, and got his beard caught in the rope. As a crowd of kids watched, a wriggling Santa finally got free by pulling off his beard, wig, and hat.

Alec Baldwin, after the famously hotheaded actor was kicked off an American Airlines flight for refusing to turn off his cellphone. The airline and witnesses said Baldwin became so infuriated that he locked himself in the bathroom, beat on the walls, and screamed so loud the pilot could hear him in the cockpit.