Monogamy isn't for everyone. At least that's what Dan Savage says. The sex and relationships columnist is perhaps best known for launching the "It Gets Better" campaign, which helped gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered teens deal with bullying and depression. But Savage has been promoting another initiative for years: Convincing couples that monogamy is a largely unrealistic expectation. A New York Times Magazine story by Mark Oppenheimer gives a national spotlight to Savage's views, examining the issues of infidelity and honesty through the lens of Savage's own "monogamish" relationship with his husband. Savage says couples need to "have a conversation about what it’ll mean if one or the other partner should cheat," and should understand that their relationship is more important than "sexual exclusivity." Does he have a point?
Yes. But it's not all about sex: While Savage's views on monogamy may be "fairly sensible," says Jessica Grose at Slate, he fails to realize that the ramifications of infidelity to a relationship extend further — and deeper — than sex. Especially with high-profile cases like Arnold Schwarzenegger's, it's the humiliation and betrayal that is "more destabilizing than just sex."
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