Do men want women anymore... or just porn?
The ubiquity of online porn is changing the way men relate to women... so much so that they're no longer interested in their offline partners, says Davy Rothbart in New York

With the rise of the internet, porn has become part of many men's daily routine, writes Davy Rothbart in New York, a phenomenon that's having a strange effect on the American male libido. Such easy access to porn has arguably sapped men's desire for their real-life partners and caused them to detach. "Porn is not only shaping men's physical and emotional interest in sex on a very fundamental neurological level, but it's also having a series of unexpected ripple effects — namely on women," Rothbart writes. Some men have grown so accustomed to the porn star aesthetic that they're no longer aroused by their real mates. Here, an excerpt:
Though porn research is the subject of much debate and barb-flinging (with religious groups seizing on any study to prove that porn and masturbation are wrong), scientists speculate that a dopamine-oxytocin combo is released in the brain during orgasm, acting as a "biochemical love potion," as behavioral therapist Andrea Kuszewski calls it. It’s the reason [that] after having sex with someone, you’re probably more inclined to form an emotional attachment. But you don’t have to actually have sex in order to get those neurotransmitters firing. When you watch porn, "you’re bonding with it," Kuszewski says. "And those chemicals make you want to keep coming back to have that feeling." Which allows men not only to get off on porn but to potentially develop a neurological attachment to it. They can, in essence, date porn.
And as tripod-in-the-corner porn evolves into a high-def wonderland, our grasp on whether we’re watching sex or actually having sex may, with the help of oxytocin, loosen. Many of the men I interviewed spoke of the charge they get from watching their favorite porn actresses. But they also had a tendency to describe the act of watching porn as though it were a real sex act they had participated in — making their emotional investment in porn all the more concrete.
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
Read the whole story in New York.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
-
Arts on prescription: why doctors are prescribing museums and comedy
In The Spotlight Stressed-out patients in Switzerland are being prescribed a trip to the museum to boost their mental wellbeing
By Chas Newkey-Burden, The Week UK Published
-
Shompole Wilderness Camp: reconnect with nature at this secluded retreat
The Week Recommends This luxurious family-run camp in southern Kenya has access to more than 350,000 acres of pristine savannah
By Sorcha Bradley, The Week UK Published
-
Liberation Day: will Keir Starmer surrender to Donald Trump's tariffs?
Today's Big Question After failing to secure exemptions for the UK, PM must decide whether to retaliate or not
By The Week UK Published