When love is just another commodity

David Brooks

The New York Times

The old courtship narrative is becoming “obsolete,” said David Brooks. For centuries, young men and women have wooed each other within a social context that tames erotic impulses through romantic love, courtship rituals, and the very real possibility of marriage. But Facebook and texting has fundamentally altered the old scripts: Now young people hunting for partners can meet through vast, virtual networks of individuals, operating outside old social and familial norms.

Subscribe to The Week

Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

SUBSCRIBE & SAVE

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters

From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

Sign up

In this world of unlimited and unregulated opportunity, both men and women usually maintain several relationships at any one time, before moving on to others. “If you have several options perpetually before you, and if technology makes it easier to jump from one option to another, you will naturally adopt the mentality of a comparison shopper.” This new mating game makes for lots of brief hookups amid an attitude of “ironic detachment”; it is simply not safe for anyone to care too much.

It’s not that young people today “are worse or shallower.” They just are coming of age in a world where love poetry and commitment seem sappy and dated. Where that takes them is anyone’s guess, but it’s unlikely to make them happy.