David Brooks
The New York Times
The old courtship narrative is becoming “obsolete,” said David Brooks. For centuries, young men and women have wooed each other within a social context that tames erotic impulses through romantic love, courtship rituals, and the very real possibility of marriage. But Facebook and texting has fundamentally altered the old scripts: Now young people hunting for partners can meet through vast, virtual networks of individuals, operating outside old social and familial norms.
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In this world of unlimited and unregulated opportunity, both men and women usually maintain several relationships at any one time, before moving on to others. “If you have several options perpetually before you, and if technology makes it easier to jump from one option to another, you will naturally adopt the mentality of a comparison shopper.” This new mating game makes for lots of brief hookups amid an attitude of “ironic detachment”; it is simply not safe for anyone to care too much.
It’s not that young people today “are worse or shallower.” They just are coming of age in a world where love poetry and commitment seem sappy and dated. Where that takes them is anyone’s guess, but it’s unlikely to make them happy.
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